I choose not to have friends. For reasons many of us share. Basically all my life I’ve rushed into relationships with girls I didn’t really know. I’ve only ever lived as a family or at my parents.
every relationship I’ve ever had has failed, cheated on due to lack of sex drive or long periods of anxiety. ASD wasn’t diagnosed, I was labelled with severe anxiety depression disorders and help stopped. I do have a ASD final diagnosis now. But I haven’t just switched it on, I wasn’t heard begging for help years on end, poisoned with antidepressants and clearly not being happy.
bare with me, this takes a lot of effort. All my life I’ve lost everything.. my kids.. now I’m in a relationship 4 kids.. 2 mine. DNA tested because my life is a joke. My current partner cheats on me. Doesn’t let me breathe. She is god damn evil.. but I let her do this because I don’t want to loose another family. She isn’t violent but she uses my enhanced sense to punish me when she’s in a bad mood etc. I need out of this relationship.
im a coward and petrified of leaving this girl. Every time I call for help.. help never comes just more hurt.. for example I told A/E who got social services involved.. I opened upto.. they called me a victim and told my partner everything and left us to it.
my problem is I have to much anxiety to leave this way. I play with death a lot because of how miserable I am.. Christmas night.. next morning I had to explain brusing around the thing I breathe with.. so we’ve talked and she can’t allow this to happen here.. an she’s asked me to leave.. still be a couple..
bonus I can leave and still see my kids, not have to stress my germanshepherd out.. don’t have to worry about her turning up at work.
social services kept me in respite for 6weeks, they never wanted me to return. Aug2021
my doctors know I’m petrified of her.
but nobody wants to help because I need the easy way out..
I need her in my life because she does things I can’t do, like shopping, medication..
I was offered a refuge* in a different area :-/ but again I would have to broadcast the abuse.
my housing team asked for information. I’ve just made a pip claim and I have a lot of information. I send them it all.. my initial email requesting help explained my mental health, dept and arrears. All week I’ve sent them things for them to demote my worthless E band to a none priority G band.. I’m so confused I was honest from the start.
who or what do I need? I can’t carry on like this.. I can’t even goto the dentist because of my communication.
im actually wrote most of this as I’m going to link this to my GP, Social worker, homeless team.
