Self-diagnosis and rejection sensitive dysphoria

Under one of my posts in an autistic community on Reddit I got told not to self-diagnose, and it shattered me to pieces by that (the post wasn't really related to self-diagnosis).

I'm so afraid to reach out to autistic communities ever again, in fear that I'll get a similar feedback. I even deleted Reddit I used to like because I'm frightened to see any new replies.

In Russia to get a formal autism diagnosis as an adult isn't possible *at all*. I'm just lost and scared… I want to have autistic friends, but I fear that I'll never fit in. 

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