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How do you "pay your way"?

I Sperg

It's fairly obvious that Autism adversely affects one's ability to be a "nice and popular human being".

(Otherwise we wouldn't have to do "masking"!)

For those of us who's doctors express surprise (whether warranted or not) at what we have been able to achieve in life, how did we do it?

In 1995, I got depressed, took a course of prozac, and in an amost unique in my life occurence, immediately decided to give someone some physical payback for a couple of months of psychological messing about/bullying that they had been handing me. Prozac made me dangerous on that and another occasion in a way  

As one of the "friends" that deserted me during that time told me, "people have been putting up with you for a long time, now you have finally gone too far" which confirmed what I had long suspected, I needed (and was consciously providing) to bring somehting else to the party other than my sparkling personality, in order to be "acceptable".

In short I'd realised in my late teens I needed to "pay my way" or be a hermit, semi-subconciously, and had evolved a protective mechanism, (which at it's peak made me a very popular little person indeed, but failed eventually, when people (including myself) stopped focussing on fun and started doing more grown up things).

I've since replaced it with a system based more on honest & mutually productive interactions, which has the bonus of requiring me to deal with far less people on a daily basis. 

What particular things do YOU do that you know make people value your being on the planet?

I'm hoping we can find a grab bag of instantly useful things that will help struggling Autists to improve their lot.

Parents

  • i dont care if people value me or not.

    i thought one time even if my ancestors would approve of me and thought they probably wouldnt at first due to my aversion to work, but now i got a job they would i guess, my family is a working class type that only values work, like the good little unthinking drones they are.... which then made me think why do i even bother wanting to be approved by such people when i clearly dont approve of their ways anyway? the disapproval of ideologies is mutual and thus it doesnt matter if one disproves of you as you equally disprove of them.

    id like to think though that if my ancestors have some form of consciousness beyond the grave and they are viewing and judging then theyd have evolved in thought and saw past the wage slavery they got led into in life and judge people more wisely based on who they are and their individual life journey and path of which the world is set up to ruin as it tries to force everyone to have the same life instead of finding their own way and evolving themselves and their character through their own journey in life in their own way not forced into anothers way. not every life should be the same, maybe reach the same conclusions but you have to go about it yourself in your own way and your own time no matter how long it takes or what extra difficulties you face getting there or whether it is the wrong path in others eyes or not. the important thing in life is to live it in your own time and develope in your time and do things when you feel your ready for them, then it doesnt matter what anyone thinks, you have lived a better life of growth than they ever could dream of if you live true to yourself and your own stage of development and readiness. 

  • in reply to Caelus

    On a practical survival level, if people value you, they treat you better and will trade with you.

    It's better if you are genuine and not wearing a mask at such times.

    I want people to go along with my wishes, & help me when I cannot help myself, sometimes that means I inconvenience them and when I do, I feel they have a right to expect something in return, the trick is in figuring out what you have that they might want, and not blatantly ripping them off if it turns out to be "beads"...

  • in reply to I Sperg

    i dont expect nor want anything from strangers, so i dont care of offering anything to others.
    family though, i offer my love and loyalty, my very being, and if that isnt enough they can discard it and me along with it for all i care. im more family focused though, which is why i think on what my ancestors would think of me more than what other strangers i dont know nor care about would think of me. family, even long dead great great great grandfathers i have never met are more important to me than a stranger. i guess this is kinda natural tribal ancestry worship or how it came about, i think the japanese supposedly have a similar mindset too. 

  • in reply to I Sperg

    I would agree, to disagree, on that.

    The problem is not work, but Government. They do whatever they can to nullify prosperity.

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