Anxiety and obsessions

The biggest problem with being who we are is that we are wired differently to most. Our brains fixate on details, the "Good" and the "Bad", then have great trouble letting go-sometimes you even can't. This can be extremely upsetting, because what is worrying you is beyond your ability to do anything about in some cases. In others, you can help both others and yourself-but it's very hard to work out how. Emotional intelligence and intellectual intelligence are very different things.

What we need are ways to cope and deal with issues that affect us that "neurotypical" people don't have to worry about. For myself, I was most relaxed at university because I knew what I had to do, when I had to do it by and where to find what I needed to let me do so. Of course, there were those annoying people who thought it was funny to cause chaos and "tease" others, even do pranks they thought were funny. But they tended to get weeded out by university authorities because of complaints after a year or two.

I was least relaxed at work in a corner shop because there was NO telling who was going to come in next and what they might do and/or ask for. I never had to deal with physical violence, thankfully, but everything else came along. We were open seven days a week until very late, very small staff, idiots made life miserable... I came very close to having a Nervous Breakdown before I managed to get some help and find a way out.

That started out as Depression, but got much worse as time passed and Anxiety and absolute frustration built up without an end in sight. My outside interests helped, but people like us get ground down very easily in totally unsuitable environments. Yet there was literally no more I could have done to get myself out of the situation.

Suffice to say, I know all about not being able to put things aside and deal with them later. Being unable to let go of what was so upsetting to me nearly tore me down right to the foundations.

My sincere advice? Get some real help and stay in touch, sometimes it will be the only thing which holds you together.

I sometimes feel- or is it think? -  ‘no end in sight’ and hopeless but the feeling always passes after its natural life span ends.  It seems dishonest therefore to characterise my ‘life’ or ‘situation’ as represented by moods or outlooks which are fractional in terms of time.  I forget that time does indeed pass and uncomfortable feelings do pass.  I wonder if ASD has as a trait the sensation that any particular ‘now’ is infinite.  That would explain why, when I am suffering even for seconds, it feels like hell.  Instead of ‘ I am certain this shall pass’ I seem to perceive the horrible feeling as ‘This shall never end: that is certain and it is all I know’ and that fact obliterates all hope and all consciousnesses of anything else. 

I'm very much a "oh my god this is it forever". I'm slowly learning to take the perspective that things pass and things change.

I'm very much a "oh my god this is it forever". I'm slowly learning to take the perspective that things pass and things change.