Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm told PTSD is having traumatic events replay over and over - but what if it's not a single event - what if it's an entire lifetime's abuse and bullying that is constantly being triggered and replaying over and over - is that the same thing? Is there a measure of intensity? Do you just get used to it? What is the qualifier?
Banging on doors, and the word lazy triggers me.
Forgive me for asking - but how intense is it? What do you experience in the moment?
The need to escape at all cost even death, so I sleep if I can to escape it,
I am normally super depressed when people try to get me out of my room and I am exhausted with the world, I experience the door thumping and the word lazy that for some reason is repeated continuously.
I just want to be left alone when I am depressed.
Burn out sounds about right.
I used to walk alot that helped me, but now I live in a city and feeling that walking is a negative thing the surrounding environment is ugly concrete impediments to natural beauty and the litter strewn ground is almost as detestable as the exhaust smothered air.
I feel the same - wanting to run - but my compulsion to "do the right thing" overrides everything - so I just sit and burn out.