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Recent diagnosis and repercussions

NAS73384

My daughter was diagnosed recently with ASD (and anxiety, social phobia and OCD). She's been misdiagnosed several times and is now 16 y.o. Her psychologist doesn't think it's useful for her to know her own diagnosis at this point and neither does my husband. I really think that she has a right to know (though obviously it should be explained carefully at the right time and we don't need to dwell on it).  My husband is telling her we can talk to her school and get her some help with her work because she has OCD and she's like "Why would I get help with my work because I have OCD?". I think that my daughter is strong enough to handle her own diagnosis and they are worried it will tip her over the edge as she's so desperate to be a normal teenager who fits in. Also, if we tell the school, as we should, wouldn't it be worse if she found out through someone else? Am I being selfish because I am an open person and because I myself feel the need to discuss the diagnosis? I think that if she knows why she's different, she will understand that difference better. I am English but my husband isn't and we often have different opinions but I feel we need to be open to get the necessary support. 

Parents

  • When I was young my grandfather developed cancer. Our parents hid it from us. They didn’t want to upset us. We didn’t find out till he was literally on his deathbed and by the time we got to him he was on life support and barely conscious. The hospital wouldn’t let us see him.

    for years after I was often struck by the thought that my parents could be keeping secrets from me, secrets that could hurt me. So I installed a phone tap to let me covertly listen to all the land lines phone calls.

    one thing a lot of autistic people struggle with is the notion of a white lie, or lying for someone else’s benefit.
    in two years time your daughter will be 18 and her doctor will have to tell her she is autistic and that he’s known this for 2 years. What do you think will happen then? Better she knows now. Better when she goes to university there is a formal package of support in place so she can have That ‘normal’ life she wants so much. Because it won’t just automatically happen for her without support and freshers week is one of the best times to start over.

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  • When I was young my grandfather developed cancer. Our parents hid it from us. They didn’t want to upset us. We didn’t find out till he was literally on his deathbed and by the time we got to him he was on life support and barely conscious. The hospital wouldn’t let us see him.

    for years after I was often struck by the thought that my parents could be keeping secrets from me, secrets that could hurt me. So I installed a phone tap to let me covertly listen to all the land lines phone calls.

    one thing a lot of autistic people struggle with is the notion of a white lie, or lying for someone else’s benefit.
    in two years time your daughter will be 18 and her doctor will have to tell her she is autistic and that he’s known this for 2 years. What do you think will happen then? Better she knows now. Better when she goes to university there is a formal package of support in place so she can have That ‘normal’ life she wants so much. Because it won’t just automatically happen for her without support and freshers week is one of the best times to start over.

Children