Recent diagnosis and repercussions

My daughter was diagnosed recently with ASD (and anxiety, social phobia and OCD). She's been misdiagnosed several times and is now 16 y.o. Her psychologist doesn't think it's useful for her to know her own diagnosis at this point and neither does my husband. I really think that she has a right to know (though obviously it should be explained carefully at the right time and we don't need to dwell on it).  My husband is telling her we can talk to her school and get her some help with her work because she has OCD and she's like "Why would I get help with my work because I have OCD?". I think that my daughter is strong enough to handle her own diagnosis and they are worried it will tip her over the edge as she's so desperate to be a normal teenager who fits in. Also, if we tell the school, as we should, wouldn't it be worse if she found out through someone else? Am I being selfish because I am an open person and because I myself feel the need to discuss the diagnosis? I think that if she knows why she's different, she will understand that difference better. I am English but my husband isn't and we often have different opinions but I feel we need to be open to get the necessary support. 

Parents
  • You need to tell her. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but you do. At 16, your daughter is almost a young adult, and this is her business more than it is absolutely anyone else's, and if you act like it's a terrible shameful secret, then that's what your daughter will think it is when she inevitably finds out. I have to be really honest and say I'm not sure what that psychologist is thinking. I would suggest following your instincts that your daughter has a right to know, because she does. I know it will be a difficult conversation, but it's best she hears it from you as her mother, who loves and supports her unconditionally.

Reply
  • You need to tell her. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but you do. At 16, your daughter is almost a young adult, and this is her business more than it is absolutely anyone else's, and if you act like it's a terrible shameful secret, then that's what your daughter will think it is when she inevitably finds out. I have to be really honest and say I'm not sure what that psychologist is thinking. I would suggest following your instincts that your daughter has a right to know, because she does. I know it will be a difficult conversation, but it's best she hears it from you as her mother, who loves and supports her unconditionally.

Children
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