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Recent diagnosis and repercussions

NAS73384

My daughter was diagnosed recently with ASD (and anxiety, social phobia and OCD). She's been misdiagnosed several times and is now 16 y.o. Her psychologist doesn't think it's useful for her to know her own diagnosis at this point and neither does my husband. I really think that she has a right to know (though obviously it should be explained carefully at the right time and we don't need to dwell on it).  My husband is telling her we can talk to her school and get her some help with her work because she has OCD and she's like "Why would I get help with my work because I have OCD?". I think that my daughter is strong enough to handle her own diagnosis and they are worried it will tip her over the edge as she's so desperate to be a normal teenager who fits in. Also, if we tell the school, as we should, wouldn't it be worse if she found out through someone else? Am I being selfish because I am an open person and because I myself feel the need to discuss the diagnosis? I think that if she knows why she's different, she will understand that difference better. I am English but my husband isn't and we often have different opinions but I feel we need to be open to get the necessary support. 

Parents

  • Well your daughter has a desire to fit in and be a normal teenager. All these other things to try and help her with her OCD, she does not want, because that makes her different from being a normal teenager. And if you tell the school she has ASD without your daughter's knowledge or consent, that'll probably send your daughter over the edge. It's not about whether or not your daughter is strong enough mentally to handle the diagnosis, it's that she'll perceive ASD as another thing she does not want that prevents her from being a normal teenager, instead of just accepting ASD as the way that her mind works, and there are many brilliant people who are on the autistic spectrum, but she'll likely only see the negatives instead of the positives, which is a concern. 

    I think that she needs something to fit and makes sense to her. I mean even mbti personality tests can be a thing that can resonate and fit and make people understand themselves and accept themselves more. But being diagnosed with ASD when you don't know what that's about and don't know anything about the traits, can be scary. I think she should know at some point in time though.  

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  • Well your daughter has a desire to fit in and be a normal teenager. All these other things to try and help her with her OCD, she does not want, because that makes her different from being a normal teenager. And if you tell the school she has ASD without your daughter's knowledge or consent, that'll probably send your daughter over the edge. It's not about whether or not your daughter is strong enough mentally to handle the diagnosis, it's that she'll perceive ASD as another thing she does not want that prevents her from being a normal teenager, instead of just accepting ASD as the way that her mind works, and there are many brilliant people who are on the autistic spectrum, but she'll likely only see the negatives instead of the positives, which is a concern. 

    I think that she needs something to fit and makes sense to her. I mean even mbti personality tests can be a thing that can resonate and fit and make people understand themselves and accept themselves more. But being diagnosed with ASD when you don't know what that's about and don't know anything about the traits, can be scary. I think she should know at some point in time though.  

Children