After retreating into isolation I find it is now difficult to socialise again. Can't seem to find a way forwards.
Anyone else feeling ng humiliated by lockdown easing?
After retreating into isolation I find it is now difficult to socialise again. Can't seem to find a way forwards.
Anyone else feeling ng humiliated by lockdown easing?
Working from home has been great. Work communication happens when there is something that needs communicating. No pointless chitter chatter about stuff that doesn't concern my job to distract me. Not that I don't like my colleagues; I do, but I can focus better without their babble about football or East Enders, which hold zero interest for me.
My boss is lovely. He keeps worrying we might all be feeling socially isolated... errr.... not really in my case. All my hobbies are at home and I'm getting more time to spend on them without 3 hours or more sitting on a bus every day. I'm equipped to cope at home. And should I feel lonely.. well, that's what zoom and telephones are for. I'm not worried about social contact, but I don't need it much either.
I am honestly VERY worried about going back to the commute. The job is easy and I like it, but that commute takes every last scrap of energy out of me, such that I get nothing out of my time off at the best of times.
But what scares me most, given my medical phobias, is that COVID is still out there and I don't get my 2nd jab till the 8th. I am still too frightened to take public transport, never mind spend all day in a enclosed space with others. I'm only just about daring to go for a daily walk.
I miss my son, though.
As for the way forward...baby steps, I'd have thought - one tiny thing a day or a week to build up confidence, I guess. Even all the NTs on our team are worried. They are telling me about how strange and disconcerted they felt going into a non-essential shop for the first time and all feel they need normality to return SLOWLY. I guess, we're lucky to have jobs and a boss which lend themselves to those baby step. Meanwhile, my poor boss, who I think is someone who needs social contact, did organise a team pic-nic in the park, but there was no pressure to go.
Yes, I feel this. I was just about to start a post about but was sure someone else would have brought it up by now.
I'm trying to figure a way back to doing what I used to do. I'm lucky in a way that my current work won't be fully returning to in-person probably until 2022. Yet this also makes me anxious about going all that time without motivators to get out and about. I'm going to need to watch this and try to keep a habit of going to shops, not letting myself ask my spouse to go more and more (without me). I notice that the less I go out, the less I go out.
Just went to a garden centre. I used to find them relatively relaxing and this one is small, wasn't too busy. But on a sensory level I froze and became overwhelmed multiple times. I think all the social distancing, the signs on the floor, taking care to wear a mask, people shouting because masks muffle their voices, etc. is so much extra to think about... then there's being in a situation that hasn't been common for over a year. I am probably linking all this to wondering if I 'should' be out, checking if I'm following rules, etc... it's a lot.
Lockdown easing feels to me like unpredictable social interaction, with unpredictable outcomes (virus transmission), plus I'm out of the habit of it, there are brand new social rules (distancing, sanitising, etc.). So "easing" is not how it feels! Not yet, anyway. I DO have hope, though!
It's good and bad.
Good because I can do things like go to the gym etc and go to in-person therapy instead of zoom.
Bad because partying has restarted. I prefer hanging out with friends one-on-one or in small groups, just chilling. Now I feel kind of neglected because everyone wants to get wasted all weekend and I don't do that anymore, and I find parties and big groups overwhelming.
I'm hoping that meetup groups and such restart soon so I can make new friends whose life doesn't revolve around getting melted.
I'm being cautious about easing back in and went out to a friends for the first time yesterday, I enjoyed it however when I got home I had to retreat, have a sleep, and generally fix myself, apparently, I was way more stimulated than I thought I was.
I've pretty much warned those close to me that there are some things I won't be going back to do after lockdown now I know they're bad for me but I don't think they all understand.
What I don't like about the lockdown easing is that public transport like the buses and trains are getting more crowded. I was on an absolutely packed Piccadilly line train yesterday afternoon, there was no social distancing and no space to sit down.
DaveAsperg,
Sometimes the way forward is to not know where forwards is, and just have the hope that things are going to turn out well. People may think that hope is weak, but it's actually strong and healthy, hope can make us more optimistic about the future and reduce things like concerns and anxiety.
I don't know when, but I do know you will be able to socialize again when you return to "know".
I'm finding it difficult to resume my walking/caching again. I used to go out three or four times a week but I can't seem to make myself get back out there. I want to, just can't make myself go.
