Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been struck by how many of us on this forum have issues with Mental Health, yet how many say that counselling and CBT etc haven't been much help. I have to say that getting the right support for my phobias and anxiety was my primary driver in the investigations which lead me to the possibility that I am autistic, and has me on the road to an assessment. Nothing offered by MH services either helped me or made the slightest sense in relation to what I am actually experiencing.
With that, I've been reading around adaptations of counselling and psychological therapies for autism. One example is below. Generally these pieces include thoroughly sensible ideas like:
Personally, I have found NHS general MH services have done more harm than good; I'm in their naughty box because I can't seem to think what they think I ought to think or how they think I ought to think it, or feel what they think I ought to feel. I feel I've been continually talking at cross purposes with them. They want to know what I think and feel, so I knock myself out to be honest and tell them everything I think I know and understand about my situation, only to be scolded with: "I don't know why you think I need all this detail". I tell them that my mother seems to be suggesting that I rejected her as a tiny baby (I didn't want to be hugged), and they try to pressurise me into saying she must have abused me, which just isn't true. And then I'm thought of as unco-operative for rejecting the premise. I've gone into melt down in there and then been asked "So, what's going on?", when I didn't know and was struggling to speak at all anyway. My failure to come up with an answer is deemed evidence I don't want to "put the work in". The list goes on, but looking at it now in hind sight, ALL of the problems with the therapy seem to me like a litany of everything ever that can go wrong in an NT / ND dialogue.
I've been left to figure out what's going on for myself, though as I look back, given the very large number of autistic behaviours I had in there, I'm disappointed the possibility never occurred to any of the professionals I dealt with. - Never mind, it looks like I have the answer now.
Quite apart from the fact that a failure to diagnose autism would mean that the true cause of anxiety can be missed, it only stands to reason to me that a person who does not process either thought or sensory information in the same way as NTs, won't respond, or respond as well, to therapies designed for them. I am thus very interested in how therapies can be adapted effectively. Once over the diagnostic hurdle, I will of course need to find something that does work for me.
So, I am interested to know what other people are being offered and whether it's helpful. Have you had your frustrations trying to communicate with mental health professionals? Has anyone made any effort to adapt their practice for you? What adaptations do they make? Are the specific mental health issues of autism even on the radar of the services in your area? Where DO you find the right kind of support?
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The problem I've found is most NTs can't grasp the world we live in - they view our world through their experience so if you're paying for sessions, 2 or 3 are wasted just trying to explain the battle terrain before you can even begin to discuss the issues.
True. My complaints are all with the NHS services really. They were appalling when my son was ill. They were appalling with me. My husband got to the stage where he wouldn't call them when I was in crisis any more because he felt they made matters worse.
To be fair, no one knew that autism was part of the picture, but looking back, I'm shocked nobody suspected anything. They have a real 'blame the patient' culture. I was even asked that question session one: 'whose fault is it, if it doesn't work?'. I don't think that's an ok question for anyone.
Just before the penny dropped for me, I had engaged a private counsellor. He's been great, actually, in adapting to my thinking styles; but long term, I know I'm going to need something specifically targeted at my complex medical phobias and a shed load of support to manage in medical situations and that's going to have to be geared toward my autism. I very much doubt the NHS is going to help me at all, so I'm going to need direction as to what to get for myself.
i found my mind was way to strong for my counsellor. So after 8-10 weeks nothing was achieved at all.
I always found counsellors sweet but not terribly useful prior to this guy. Lots of just 'tell me about it...', so I tell them...and what? Changes nothing.
This guy has been aware that autism is a likely issue from session three, when I realised, though, and he's much more structured, very clear about what he's trying to achieve and always checks our mutual understanding of what's being said. No talking at cross purposes, no airy, fairy "what are you feeling?" questions and everything in a tidy, logical order. Much better.
I don't know whether that's his natural counselling style or whether he's doing his home work for my benefit or just has experience of ND people before, but he is better.
I'm going to google the other therapies you mention, now.