Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve got some questions, maybe someone’s got the answers.
I’ve tried to improve my mood. First by taking st.john’s wort and when it didn’t work I tried 5-htp. It didn’t work. Maybe the dose was too low, maybe I should double/triple it.
I have generally low mood (but some days better, some days worse) and I have an anxiety. Anxiety is ruining my life.
It’s not a new issue and I’ve tried CBT and counselling which didn’t help.
NHS CBT was completely useless.
Recently I’ve talked to someone about suicide and they said that it would be worth if I talk to GP and take some medication.
But I’m not sure.
I’m not at imminent risk. I know I might kill myself in the future but I’m not going to do it yet. It’s just an option if the life is too much.
I’ve chosen the method and the thought is comforting.
The thought that I’ve got the way out and that I’m prepared.
But I’m not going to kill myself yet.
I have small children and I’m not going to cause trauma to my children. They are not ready to deal with that.
I’ve been having recurring suicidal thoughts for years.
I’ve never mentioned them in therapy because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and I was afraid how they might react.
And now to my questions.
Should I go to GP?
Will they tell anyone?
Are they going to make a big deal out of it?
Or maybe ignore me?
Maybe it’s not worth mentioning at all?
Will I be sent to CBT again?
Offered medication?
Can I choose medication or therapy?
What about side effects of medication?
I’m worried about side effects.
Hi Ladybird, I have the same thoughts and plans as you. I'm on antidepressants, I think it's a case of trial and error to find what suits you best. I've also never shared my thoughts, for the same reasons as you, I'm scared of the consequences should professionals find out. Right now I'm taking it one day at a time. Trying to address my anxiety so that I feel in control. This forum really is a blessing. I'm not saying that I'm doing well, I've resorted back to SH again, with all the shame and guilt involved. Plastic has given really good advice, give it a try, your not alone in this, there are people here who will support you.
I’ve decided. I’m going to go to GP after Easter, even though it won’t be easy for me to ask for help. Because I woke up in the middle of the night and started to think about all the chemicals I have access to at work (I work in the lab), even though chemical poisonings is not my chosen method. I went to work today morning (to do some overtime) and looked at the deadly ones. I’m not planning to use them but it hit me that it went too far and I shouldn’t be reading about their lethal doses. I should be relaxing and celebrating long weekend. After all, what do I have to lose?
I'm really glad you're going GP. What you just said was really scary.
Hey, girlie. I'm sorry you're feeling down. Look, I took St.John's wort as well, and it also didn't help. Tho counseling helped a lot. For instance, last year, I had severe depression and anxiety because I lost a very special person to me. I was constantly experiencing feelings of isolation, and I was suffering from feelings of anxiety. Counseling helped me navigate all these feelings, and I couldn't be happier with where I am now in terms of well-being. Maybe you could try online therapy? Here are a few therapy sites I found [link removed by moderator]Take care!