Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve got some questions, maybe someone’s got the answers.
I’ve tried to improve my mood. First by taking st.john’s wort and when it didn’t work I tried 5-htp. It didn’t work. Maybe the dose was too low, maybe I should double/triple it.
I have generally low mood (but some days better, some days worse) and I have an anxiety. Anxiety is ruining my life.
It’s not a new issue and I’ve tried CBT and counselling which didn’t help.
NHS CBT was completely useless.
Recently I’ve talked to someone about suicide and they said that it would be worth if I talk to GP and take some medication.
But I’m not sure.
I’m not at imminent risk. I know I might kill myself in the future but I’m not going to do it yet. It’s just an option if the life is too much.
I’ve chosen the method and the thought is comforting.
The thought that I’ve got the way out and that I’m prepared.
But I’m not going to kill myself yet.
I have small children and I’m not going to cause trauma to my children. They are not ready to deal with that.
I’ve been having recurring suicidal thoughts for years.
I’ve never mentioned them in therapy because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and I was afraid how they might react.
And now to my questions.
Should I go to GP?
Will they tell anyone?
Are they going to make a big deal out of it?
Or maybe ignore me?
Maybe it’s not worth mentioning at all?
Will I be sent to CBT again?
Offered medication?
Can I choose medication or therapy?
What about side effects of medication?
I’m worried about side effects.
Ladybird,
The easiest way to reduce anxiety is to focus on the present moment to be aware, pure awareness and anxiety can't coexist.
Unfortunately not many people are aware that gratitude is a remedy and prevention of depression.
Whenever you get the chance think of what in life you are grateful for, like your children and what joy your children can bring you, like as you've thought about your children it's made you restrain yourself.
Think of every thing you're grateful for on a regular basis, gratitude can even work as a replacement for anti-depressents and make you more optimistic and hopeful.
I would report to your GP if I were you to seek professional help.
The GP is not allowed to tell anyone because all must be kept private and confidential.
The NHS will always take suicidal thoughts serious.
They won't ignore you.
It's certainly worth mentioning, your life is worth just as much as anyone else.
If you tell your GP you've tried CBT he/she'll try something different.
The NHS will provide medication or therapy as they see fit.
If they provide you medication and side effects begin to occur, stop consuming them and report back to them.
If they decide counseling, openly tell the counselor what in your life seems to be missing or out of place.
It's wise that you're seeking help.
I like this line
’ your life is worth just as much as anyone else’
Its legally true;
it’s morally upheld by every major religion irrespective of what your opinion is of religions
it needs to be true for general human security
it doesn’t depend on volatile human emotions
It is needed when Thinking and emotions are distorted into being self-destructive and other-destructive.
you are sharing because you don’t want to undermine your existence.
I believe I understand what is happening here. I experience it as an immensely powerful force of negativity like a spiritual cancer.
Connection with caring others -whether people or cats or clouds - here and with others known or unknown or never to be met -because of different times or spaces - is the spiritual medicine.
Bravo to you and to all on the miracle of courage to be vulnerable and connect