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Depression?

Ladybird

I’ve got some questions, maybe someone’s got the answers.

I’ve tried to improve my mood. First by taking st.john’s wort and when it didn’t work I tried 5-htp. It didn’t work. Maybe the dose was too low, maybe I should double/triple it. 

I have generally low mood (but some days better, some days worse) and I have an anxiety. Anxiety is ruining my life.

It’s not a new issue and I’ve tried CBT and counselling which didn’t help. 

NHS CBT was completely useless.

Recently I’ve talked to someone about suicide and they said that it would be worth if I talk to GP and take some medication. 

But I’m not sure. 

I’m not at imminent risk. I know I might kill myself in the future but I’m not going to do it yet. It’s just an option if the life is too much. 

I’ve chosen the method and the thought is comforting. 

The thought that I’ve got the way out and that I’m prepared.

But I’m not going to kill myself yet. 

I have small children and I’m not going to cause trauma to my children. They are not ready to deal with that.

I’ve been having recurring suicidal thoughts for years.

I’ve never mentioned them in therapy because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and I was afraid how they might react.

And now to my questions.

Should I go to GP? 

Will they tell anyone? 

Are they going to make a big deal out of it? 

Or maybe ignore me? 

Maybe it’s not worth mentioning at all? 

Will I be sent to CBT again? 

Offered medication? 

Can I choose medication or therapy? 

What about side effects of medication?

I’m worried about side effects.

Parents

  • I'm sorry you're going through this. Debilitating sadness is something people don't understand unless they've felt the real struggles that are there. Since age 16, I've tried a laundry list of medicines. Although, I take medicine for attention/concentration....I have a more difficult time with SSRI's bc they cool my underative temporal down to much. I do well with like .25 of a half mg of klonopin, but NP's are always fearful of prescribing it.That being said, you may just need to try some....I tell people if the depression is so bad....take medicine, that's what it's there for. Think of it as a tool. If something gives you side effects (I've had nasuea/dizziness)....I've had Dr's insists I stay on it, but I say..."goodbye." If you trust your gut/feelings and start on low doses....I once had a Dr. prescribe 100mg of Zoloft--I got so sick. If you start low, you'll be good. 

    -Elavil is supposed to be an older anti-depressant, but still considered the gold star anti-depressant. 

    -Wellbutrin is one of the top rated antidepressants with the least reported side effects

    -Prozac (Temple Grandin takes a small dose of this for her anxiety/depression)

    Medicine it tough, but even if you take if for a little while to get through or if you take it long-term.....you can't fix your brain with your own brain. If you need help, you need help-plain and simple. The best we can hope for is, to do the best for ourselves that we can--I'm a survivor of suicide & I know, you have to make it your decision to want to be here, but what if it meant going through some slightly annoying side effects until you found the right medicine so you can function and find happiness? If you struggle with depression long-term and it isn't just something that comes & goes--it's your brain, it's not you & you have the power to do something about it----that is, if you choose to.

Reply

  • I'm sorry you're going through this. Debilitating sadness is something people don't understand unless they've felt the real struggles that are there. Since age 16, I've tried a laundry list of medicines. Although, I take medicine for attention/concentration....I have a more difficult time with SSRI's bc they cool my underative temporal down to much. I do well with like .25 of a half mg of klonopin, but NP's are always fearful of prescribing it.That being said, you may just need to try some....I tell people if the depression is so bad....take medicine, that's what it's there for. Think of it as a tool. If something gives you side effects (I've had nasuea/dizziness)....I've had Dr's insists I stay on it, but I say..."goodbye." If you trust your gut/feelings and start on low doses....I once had a Dr. prescribe 100mg of Zoloft--I got so sick. If you start low, you'll be good. 

    -Elavil is supposed to be an older anti-depressant, but still considered the gold star anti-depressant. 

    -Wellbutrin is one of the top rated antidepressants with the least reported side effects

    -Prozac (Temple Grandin takes a small dose of this for her anxiety/depression)

    Medicine it tough, but even if you take if for a little while to get through or if you take it long-term.....you can't fix your brain with your own brain. If you need help, you need help-plain and simple. The best we can hope for is, to do the best for ourselves that we can--I'm a survivor of suicide & I know, you have to make it your decision to want to be here, but what if it meant going through some slightly annoying side effects until you found the right medicine so you can function and find happiness? If you struggle with depression long-term and it isn't just something that comes & goes--it's your brain, it's not you & you have the power to do something about it----that is, if you choose to.

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