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Impossible to concentrate after burnout

Dan

Hi all,

So to put it mildly, executive function has never been my strong point. My short term memory has always been alarmingly poor.

Sorry for the long back story, but I don't know how to explain otherwise (tl:dr I worked myself to death in a job that caused me to constantly meltdown and I burnt myself out).

Anyway, I'm a secondary school teacher. I moved schools a few years ago after being at the same school for 10 years before that. The move was a promotion and a great opportunity, but ended up being a disaster. Literally everything about working there felt "wrong". Nothing was familiar, it was loud and I could never get into a routine. Plus I was working 80-90 hour weeks to try and keep up with everything I needed to do. I had more meltdowns in two years there than I've had in my entire life - right up until I snapped spectacularly and handed in my notice one morning. I left and did a terribly paid IT job at another school for a few months, before the need to pay the bills kicked in and someone I used to work with offered me a job teaching again.

My problem is, a year and a half after reaching that breaking point, my concentration is still shot. Before it felt like I had a delicate balance between my hyper-focus and my terrible memory - I could spend hours and hours planning lessons and not realise time had passed, whilst all the while constantly getting distracted on different little tasks that made up the lesson (writing a worksheet, then switching window to research something, forgetting about the worksheet and doing something else for a bit before remembering about the worksheet again). It would take me twice as long as it should to get things done, but I would be so focussed on it that it wouldn't matter.

Now, that hyper-focus is so hard/non-existent. My head feels like it's full of cotton wool most of the time and it's a real effort to actually concentrate on anything. Teaching from home at the moment is much easier than being in a noisy school, but even just concentrating to deliver the lessons is exhausting. My sensory issues all seem dialled to 11 - if I'm not teaching, I have the curtains drawn, headphones on and hood up to try and blank out the world and clear my head a little.

I guess my question is, how long can this last? Is it something that gets better over time? I hope so!

  • Well - for me it has lasted about 2.5 years and counting.... Still exactly where you said you are. Head full of mush and not able to get focused again. I can't see away out. 

    Myself - I do all the things recommended and alwsy have. I have been doing meditation since 1991. It is mindfull right now and alwsy is - mindfully painful. 

  • in reply to aidie

    Thanks.

    I have always enjoyed walking the dog actually. I guess recently it's just a time thing. I'm usually rushing around the same walk I always do and/or I have at least one child in tow. I love them to bits, but they don't tend not to contribute to a relaxing walk to gather my thoughts Slight smile.

    It is something I need to get better at finding time for.

  • I would try to take a regular walk of at least 3 miles initially, once a week then 2 times a week right up to 6/7 times a week. Ideally walk alone coasts, in forests, and hiking up hills with great views. 

    MIndful Walking.....During each walk you just walk noting things around you as you walk,,,, how green is the grass, what colour are the clouds how does the wind feel on your face keep noticing these small details. how does your legs feel when there is a slop. What do your fingers do when u walk,,,, point at something and describe it. 

    do some fast walking,,,, some slow motion walking,,,,, can u hear birds ? ,,, smell flowers or seaweed ? etc

    learn all about Mindful walking and apply what you read. Hone this skill as much as possible and then teach it to children around you when u feel it is doing you good.

    I now love and look forward to my walks everything is dropped when I am out in the elements

    It has a very high probability of working

    it ur mind is really crazy I start the walk, and say in time to my steps "Sponge", "Bob",Square", Pants"   over and over and over, then switch to spotting details in my environment. Notice everything