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Adult Eating Disorder getting triggered more in Lockdown?

Plectrum

Hi everyone, I have been wanting to post something for a while about this and unsure how to say it or whether I would just end up demoralised if no one answers.

Anyway, I give it a try.

I've got an autism related eating disorder around obsession with strict food regime, calories and weight. I was diagnosed with eating disorder as a child but as many ASD people have experienced, autism was completely overlooked until adulthood.
Food and nutrition has also been a special interest of mine for some years. It's both a friend and an enemy.
I have a bad relationship with food when anxiety is triggered. I use it to self-harm and I associate food with reward and punishment.
I get some momentary relief and escapism from it.

Obviously it's not good for my health and I have had it under control most of my adult life by having a good diet and exercise regime and allowing myself unlimited amounts of tea, salad and fruit if I need it.
I also go for long walks (not so easy under lockdown) which is good for suppressing urges.

During the lockdown I find I am getting triggered to relapse more and more. It's a feeling that I am not in control: the corona and the government are controlling what we can do.
I'm not alone in the house so have to suppress the urge. The feeling that I can't escape or be alone, as my partner is also in lockdown, is making it worse and worse.
It's making me very irritable and I can feel it's building up in a bad way.

Does anyone else experience eating disorders with their autistic traits, how are you coping in lockdown?

Parents

  • Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I don't have an eating disorder, but I have found that lockdown is majorly triggering my mental health conditions. I suppose that anyone with a pre-existing mental health condition is likely to struggle more in times of stress and uncertainty.

    I've self-referred for therapy again - maybe it'd be worth looking into any support you could get? I'm with my local NHS mental health service and they're offering online, telephone, and video therapy to support people during lockdown.

    I hope you're able to get some support and feel better soon.

  • in reply to DuckBread

    Wow, I don't even have any post diagnostic support. I was diagnosed and that was that. I don't even know if I am entitled to get anything while corona is the priority. 

Reply Children
  • in reply to Plectrum

    It's really frustrating that you don't get any follow-up support once you have your diagnosis. I heard a really good quote about functioning labels the other day (I wish I could credit the person, but I can't remember who said it): 'high functioning means your challenges are overlooked, and low functioning means your assets are overlooked'. 

    I don't think group therapy would work for me either; masking would be a big problem for me. I'd be more conscious about how I was coming across to the group than how well my recovery was going. 

    I have heard a lot about the links between autism and eating disorders - it's mostly anecdotal, but there does seem to be a real link. Purple Ella and YoSamdySam each have a video about their relationship with food on their YouTube channels.

    I've found that some of my GPs are amazing and others just don't seem to take me seriously. If you're worried about your GP's response, it might be worth going straight to the mental health service. I'm not sure on the cost, but if you want to go private, it may be that there are therapists out there who have experience of both autism and eating disorders (the NAS might be able to recommend some?).

    I'm glad I was able to help in some way - feel free to drop me a message if you ever want to talk.

  • in reply to DuckBread

    Hi, thanks for clarifying. I am kind of the other way round to you.   I got a test, a diagnosis, told I was high functioning (and I suspect this means "turns out we don't need to help you , so off you go, bye"), and that was the end.   It didn't include any mental health support before or after the diagnosis, and it implied I have to get referred and queue up again for that.   

    The eating disorder was in my childhood and I self- discharged at 18.  Treatment for eating disorders is often group therapy, and when i last went to group therapy I ended up copying new habits and tricks from the other group members to make my disordered eating and exercising even more extreme, and I weighed myself constantly in an effort to lose more weight from week to week, which would impress the other members. We all wanted to shock one another with something. Some of them got piercings and shaved their heads. All in all it was not good for me.  

     In my head I imagine going to the GP and explaining that I now see my eating disorder through a new lens due to autistic diagnosis, but somehow when i play through the imaginary scenario, there are so many ways it can go badly and I don't get the outcome that is best for me. 

    I don't trust the administration of the health services and its a lottery even which GP I see since I am only allocated to a health centre and not a specific doctor.   All of this plus bad experiences in the past, stops me doing anything and in the meantime I have the occasional "acute" day or week when I relapse badly. 

    Your comments have been really helpful, that i need to do something in order not to stay stuck on this spot, so thanks. 

  • in reply to Plectrum

    Unfortunately, this isn't post-diagnostic support. I've been on the autism assessment waiting list for a very long time! The support I'm getting is through the standard NHS mental health service so, whilst it's not autism-specific, it's better than having no support at all. The last therapist I saw was really helpful and very willing to learn more about autism.