Hi everyone, I have been wanting to post something for a while about this and unsure how to say it or whether I would just end up demoralised if no one answers.
Anyway, I give it a try.
I've got an autism related eating disorder around obsession with strict food regime, calories and weight. I was diagnosed with eating disorder as a child but as many ASD people have experienced, autism was completely overlooked until adulthood.
Food and nutrition has also been a special interest of mine for some years. It's both a friend and an enemy.
I have a bad relationship with food when anxiety is triggered. I use it to self-harm and I associate food with reward and punishment.
I get some momentary relief and escapism from it.
Obviously it's not good for my health and I have had it under control most of my adult life by having a good diet and exercise regime and allowing myself unlimited amounts of tea, salad and fruit if I need it.
I also go for long walks (not so easy under lockdown) which is good for suppressing urges.
During the lockdown I find I am getting triggered to relapse more and more. It's a feeling that I am not in control: the corona and the government are controlling what we can do.
I'm not alone in the house so have to suppress the urge. The feeling that I can't escape or be alone, as my partner is also in lockdown, is making it worse and worse.
It's making me very irritable and I can feel it's building up in a bad way.
Does anyone else experience eating disorders with their autistic traits, how are you coping in lockdown?
