married to a man who is possibly aspergers

Hi, I have never done anything like this before but I'm feeling pretty desperate. When I saw your posting I had to join the community so I could talk to you. I have been with my husband for 15 years, he is very successful and had a highly paid job but seems to have all the traits of high functioning autism. I am thinking that I should tell him but I am so scared about how he will react. I have done the autism test on line as though it was him answering and I also took the test myself. His score was 35 and mine was 4! If I look back to when we first met the signs were there but I just thought he would change. In the 15 years we have been together he has made no lasting friendships, he is uncomfortable with people, he can come across as being rude because he doesn't make eye contact and will change the subject when someone is in mid sentence, it's as though he can't read social situations. If I try to discreetly tap him on the leg he can't understand that I am trying to subtly make him aware of what he is doing. I could go on and on but when you read about the signs of autism I feel like they are talking about him. There are so many ways in which it effects our life, it's all so subtle, but to me it now seems such a huge problem within our marriage - I am unhappy so much of the time because of the way he is. My hope is that if he was open to the idea that he may have mild autism it may help him cope with life better, he struggles so much with every day life and what it throws at him I sometimes worry that he'll have a nervous breakdown.

Sorry if I haven't made much sense but I haven't spoken to anyone about this before.

Hi, I have never done anything like this before but I'm feeling pretty desperate. When I saw your posting I had to join the community so I could talk to you. I have been with my husband for 15 years, he is very successful and had a highly paid job but seems to have all the traits of high functioning autism. I am thinking that I should tell him but I am so scared about how he will react. I have done the autism test on line as though it was him answering and I also took the test myself. His score was 35 and mine was 4! If I look back to when we first met the signs were there but I just thought he would change. In the 15 years we have been together he has made no lasting friendships, he is uncomfortable with people, he can come across as being rude because he doesn't make eye contact and will change the subject when someone is in mid sentence, it's as though he can't read social situations. If I try to discreetly tap him on the leg he can't understand that I am trying to subtly make him aware of what he is doing. I could go on and on but when you read about the signs of autism I feel like they are talking about him. There are so many ways in which it effects our life, it's all so subtle, but to me it now seems such a huge problem within our marriage - I am unhappy so much of the time because of the way he is. My hope is that if he was open to the idea that he may have mild autism it may help him cope with life better, he struggles so much with every day life and what it throws at him I sometimes worry that he'll have a nervous breakdown.

Sorry if I haven't made much sense but I haven't spoken to anyone about this before.