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JulesDon
over 7 years ago

Hi All,

I feel like I am at the end of my tether, so have joined with the hope that I dob't feel so alone.

My son, just turned 14, is awaiting an assessment. Things have never been easy with him, right from birth, getting meningitis at 10 months old, having multiple allergies etc.etc. But he struggled going to high school, missed most of the first year, on and off the second year, and missing most of the third year.

He now goes to a school phobic unit, which is great when we get him in.He just struggles to get there, has a good few days then is off again for a couple of weeks.

When he is good, he is great, you wouldn't notice as he has good eye contact, and will engage. Ask him how he feels, and he can't answer, or if he is not 100% he just shuts down completely.

He struggles with noise, which is probably the worst thing, as we as a family don't go out much together, because by the time we get there, usually something has happened and he has shut down, and won't go in, or sits there with his hands over his ears not participating.

I am not even asking for advice really, it is just getting it unbottled. We have just merely coped and got on with it. It is only with Camhs following up that has started him getting assessed, we have always just thought the way he is, is the way he is. 

Thanks

Parents
  • over 7 years ago

    Hi Jules, has he tried noise-cancelling headphones? Some people find them really useful. They are not cheap though, so would perhaps be good if he could test them somewhere first.

    I'm sometimes wondering if it isn't other people being too ridgid when they just can't help asking how someone is without actually wanting to know. Why would anyone have to ask him how he feels, especially when he struggles to respond to that? There are less abstract ways of finding out and anyone who wants to know can also simply observe him and (at least people that know him) will probably be able to figure out how he feels (within reason at least). But people keep doing it, even when told that their trivial non-question is a problematic one.

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  • over 7 years ago

    Hi Jules, has he tried noise-cancelling headphones? Some people find them really useful. They are not cheap though, so would perhaps be good if he could test them somewhere first.

    I'm sometimes wondering if it isn't other people being too ridgid when they just can't help asking how someone is without actually wanting to know. Why would anyone have to ask him how he feels, especially when he struggles to respond to that? There are less abstract ways of finding out and anyone who wants to know can also simply observe him and (at least people that know him) will probably be able to figure out how he feels (within reason at least). But people keep doing it, even when told that their trivial non-question is a problematic one.

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