New and Confused

Hello, everyone.

My mother attempted to diagnose me with Asperger's yesterday (she's not an expert) when she noticed I was acting moody and making lists. For example, I make lists about makeup/hairstyles I want to try, books I want to read, etc. She believes I do this obsessively. I'm 22 and haven't made an appointment with a doctor due to the virus affecting the NHS. 

I suffer from major depression and anxiety and I do find it difficult to make new friends. I have always put this down to being shy and reserved. I don't struggle to read facial expressions, discern tone of voice/jokes, and I do seek comfort from others. My mother's concern stems from my not always knowing what to say when people talk to me (particularly when it's not a specific greeting/question) and because I make notes/lists (which she believes is a repetitive behaviour and also a sign that I have OCD as well). I also channel my interests into studying.

What I've read about Asperger's online unsettles me: I've come across articles telling people to 'grieve' for what they could've been and that they will never attain a normal lifestyle. So I'm now feeling very upset in case my mother is right about my symptoms, and want to find out more from those more informed!