Published on 12, July, 2020
Since graduating from college I've been strugglign to adapt to society, I've been unable to hold down a job and have been dealing with depression, mood swings and a whole host of mood swings. My wife pointed out to me a while back that I showed a lot of signs of autism, and rethinking about my childhood (I was always paranoid that people weren't telling me that there was something wrong with me. I wasn't like the other kids, I did well in school, but I didn't act like them, I didn't talk like them, and I didn't think like them), I couldn't read until I was in 4th grade, and the only solice outside of learning I ever took was video games. It was the world I understood best. My psychiatrist agrees that I might have autism but is telling me that a diagnosis would do nothing for me, and that kaiser, at least the one I go to, will only diagnos children and that they don't see a point to diagnosing adults because we should already have coping mechanisms. School was the only thing I ever understood. It made sense. I have a schedule, I attend, I learn at my own pace, I can leave and return, I gain knowledge, I grow in power, I move onto the next adventure. It was even easier to be social, I felt safe. It was an environment I knew. Anyways, I forgot what my point was. I guess I just wanted to be heard, realize I'm not crazy, that I do have this problem and that I can finally start finding resources to help me succeed.
I have been called a fraud because I dared to self diagnose myself as autistic. This despite 20 years of being bullied and blackmailed and coerced into "conforming" to the neuro typical mind set. Because I rely on drugs to replace a lack of "sucsess" in modern society my family and so called friends have deserted me. They decided to "force" me to conform to their way of thinking despite the very obvious and immenent collapse of modern society and the capitalist model of economic regulation.
So when I read posts from abroad (US) I begin to be suspicious about the true motives of the posters. Are we being infiltrated by big business only interested in offering solutions to an incurable condition such as autism? The current UK government is so right wing it has plans to privatise the UK NHS by first of all destroying it. That is now clear.
The NAS is a government supported "charity" which puports to support autistic people and raise awareness of their problems. I have immense sympathy with those who suffer from a lack of ability to flourish in today's western society. The problems of the rest of the world seem to be ignored however. Homo sapiens (human beings) are by nature self absorbed (autistic) so interested only in self preservation. I am no different. So any person who claims to be altruistc is a liar in my opinion and merely trying to gain advantage over the rest of us who are less fortunate in mental capacity than them.
So I am cynical of any effort by politicians to convince me they are on my side.
As to what the alternative is to today's system? I have no idea.........all I know is it will end. Of that no one who has studied it denies. I will be dead before it crashes for sure because I am 68 and drink too much alcohol to survive much longer. But charities like the NAS are not the solution. I will probably be barred after this post but hope it gets through long enough to reach enough people to have some effect.
We need to take back control of our society before it's too late to avoid disaster.
Political power needs to be in the hands of local communities enabled to make decisions about their own future not dictated to by big businesses only interested in profit.
Take care, Laddie.