Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all!
I thought I'd introduce myself here for a bit before going in-depth or posting around, so hopefully I can get to know a couple of you and get into the swing of things. I can be very awkward with posting online (either I go crazy and write essays at people, or I get anxious about speaking up and don't say anything even if I want to).
So here goes...
Hi I'm Pip :). I'm aged 25, and am female. I've always been "odd" - introverted, sensitive, but easily excitable, with strange interests. I've also been writing for years, so I just interpreted my "weirdness" as just being a "creative spirit" or something like that.
I met my partner 7 years ago. He was diagnosed with ASD as a child. He has his difficulties, but I've always loved his straight-forwardness, goofy humour, and his odd ways of remembering things. We've always got along and adjusted to one another well. I am told we are quite alike in some respects. We live apart, semi-long distance. It's not always been like that, but this works for us at the moment even if it's unconventional.
My own issues have been different from his, so it never crossed my mind that I might also have Aspergers. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, GAD, depression ... all sorts during several years of distress and struggle. I'd like to go into it but I'd be here all day.
Long story short is: I eventually read up about ASD in females, realised that I am just another different variation of it, and went for a diagnosis...which took a good year or so of being on waiting lists. That was an experience in itself lol
I was finally diagnosed with Asperger's / High-functioning Autism last December. It makes sense. But I still don't know how to feel about it. I am now even more anxious about my future. I can't relate to these stories that are like "Oh I was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult, everything fell into place and I was finally happy." ...or whatnot.
I could talk for ages about what's been bothering me, but I'd be happy just with knowing I'm not alone at the moment.
Right now I am mostly obsessed with my cat, which has kinda led into an interest in animal behaviour. For the past year or so I've been intrigued by bats, and nocturnal wildlife in general. But generally speaking, I like anything nerdy I guess...video games, computers/technology, anime/manga. Lately I'm also obsessed with collecting stuff - magazines, plushies, dolls/figurines, postcards, candles, you name it. I basically like owning stuff - and if it comes in other colours, sizes, or in a set, guaranteed it won't feel "right" to me unless I have the whole lot. XD ! My room gets kinda messy because of it, and after I'm done with collecting something I seem to easily be able to throw it away and go to the next thing...
"But isn't that what everyone does anyway?" - I still have trouble discerning what "most people do" and what is obsessive/aspie-like behaviour. It's still all a blur to me.
Anyway, feel free to chat to me! :) Looking forward to hearing from some of you around on here!
I have just joined also as needed to be able to communicate with other people who are not going to react with disbelief and denial about autism. I have spent 15 year working with young adults with autism and learning difficulties. We decided to foster now our own children are older and began fostering a child who is very intelligent and also autistic. I did some research and courses as i had no experience in this area. I have for the last 10 years believed my daughter had autism but as it didn't affect any areas of her life as we created coping strategies, until uni, did not believe she needed testing. As part of my research i decided to buy the girl with curly hair book, read it and pass it to her to read. This was 10 months ago and during reading it I had a major melt down lasting days if not a week as i realised i am also autistic. When i spoke to my family about it after writing list of my traits the only supportive person was my daughter, who is a speach therapist, she said she knows I am and has been trying to let me know but didn't know how to. My husband,other children, parents all believe I am talking myself into it by researching and reading too much, it makes me feel as though they believe I have a mental illness. I am 43 and don't feel I need a diagnosis for myself but am thinking I need it to be taken seriously. I realise I have become a master of creating coping strategies to get me through life, this does cover up my traits. I am trying to understand my reactions to different experience and to recognise when I am becoming to get stressed so i can act to hopefully prevent major melt downs. Sorry for woffling on. It would be nice to hear about your experience of getting a diagnosis.