My girlfriend has aspergers but is unaware

Hello, I'm a new member and really looking  for some good practical advice in a difficult situation.

I have been dating an amazing and wonderful woman over 2 years until recently . She is absolutely unique  in all ways and I have never been in a relationship with such an honest,  trustworthy,  gentle (but forthwrigbt)  woman with such a different  view of life and the world in general.  She is a very clever professional in her mid - 30's, I am older than her.

It is only in the last few months,  as our relationship has broken down , that i have discovered it is very certain she has very strong aspergers characteristics and behaviour patterns, but is unaware of this. I have also not know own or understood this central and very important issue of who she is and how this positively and negatively  effects her on a daily basis.

This problem has been complicated by the fact that for a lot of the relationship we have been working in different countries  ( not ideal) with the long term aim of me moving to be with her. Last year i had an accident meaning I could not travel for 12 months to be with her.

In the last few months the relationship has broken down due to issues concerning  the geographical distance between us ( although i can now travel again ), but mainly because i was told i was not ' understanding ' or ' getting' her (her words). We had many misunderstandings and miscommunications during this time.

It has only been in the last 3 - 4 months I started researching and reading everything I could about her behaviour and character traits in the hope of understanding her better and becoming closer. 

I have found that all the 'quirkiness', ' eccentricity ', and probems associated with many aspects of her daily work  life and interaction with people (including  me), health issues and other characteristics all now fit into place.

 I simply did not  understand soon enough aspergers might be the reason. I now feel I know her so much better as I can now partly  see the way she wants / needs to be treated and understood, and how certain aspects of daily life and relationships are very stressful for her. I am not saying I understand her totally, but I now know why we did not connect as much as we could of.

She has never been formally diagnosed  ( that I am aware of). She has always said she needs to be 'understood ' and that generally  people do not 'get' her, but has never  been specific about what she really means (she is incredibly open and honest so I am sure she would tell me if she knew she had aspergers ). I also think her family do not know or realise,  they just call her unusual or ' special '.

A few of my very close neurotypical friends (whom I have discussed this with discreetly ) are always questioning why I would want to pursue this relationship in the long term because of what they see as  obvious potential  for misunderstanding and that it would be a challenging relationship. A friend commented once that she appeared to be a teenager in many of her behavioral patterns,  but she is physically 35.

My response is that this woman is simply amazing , no trouble would be too much and after experiencing the incredible love, openness and unique world view of this particular  Aspie woman. I could not envisage being with a neurotipical woman again. She is simply fantastic and deserves to be loved and understood for precisely who she is.

I have read and been told many times that  Aspie women  have no or little empathy, but this is so not true. The empathy is actually stronger I feel but expressed differently.

So, i would really welcome any serious advice or suggestions from aspie women on how I can :

(1) 

Reconnect with her without upsetting her. Somehow let her know I now understand her far better and that our relationship problems were a result of me not understanding her particular character, which is very specific and was very frustrating when I did not know the reasons why. 

(2) should I somehow  try and bring up the subject that  she most probably  has aspergers  ( at the high end of the spectrum).  But that she appears to be unaware. How can I sensitively do this, or should  I not ?

(3) Would it be appropriate for me to discuss the subject with any of her family members or would Aspie women find this a really insulting thing for me to do ?

She is very close to them but they also do not seem to recognise the possible  reasons behind her character or non-typical behaviour,  over many years

I hope this post does not offend any Aspie women, I'm just a confused neurotypical man looking for good advice on how to best behave in a complex situation . Please let me know how you would like to be treated in this situation.

This woman is truly irreplaceable,I would do absolutely anything to be with her and understand her,  and I do not want to lose her because I did not recognise her behaviour earlier.

Thankyou all very much for your help !