Hello - recently diagnosed

Me too. Diagnosed a couple of weeks ago. I know what you mean about your life going wrong. Anyway, the diagnosis is a big relief for me and I hope it will be for you too.

Being bullied, suffering anxiety and depression, and 'extreme varied competance' - not heard that one before but it sounds frighteningly familiar. I think I have that too. I go from being obsessively focussed in my work to being very disinterested with very little in between.

Thank you for your considerate reply, Tom.
Although I'm relieved to finally understand, I do feel disappointed that I didn't realise sooner. I have known that there was something wrong or different about me from the time I started to think.
I too have lived with a great deal of anxiety and depression; I'm finding that the diagnosis is helping me to rationalise and keep from my lowest lows.

I was bullied by two older brothers, amongst other things for being female, so I learned to act tough, an act that I carried on into adul life as a mask, which enabled me to work. When I had an accident that caused the onset of chronic pain, I couldn't keep it up, I didn' know who I was, so I withdrew from everything.
I'm very lucky, in that I have an understanding partner. He has Chronic Fatigue, so we are a kind of "coping together" unit.

One of the main things that led me to my diagnosis is my extreme varied competence, which causes me difficulties with self-employment.
 

Hi JayPop,

Welcome!

I was diagnosed last May, at age 56.  Like you, I found it a relief, enabling me to make sense of my life at last.  It hasn't all been positive for me, though.  I look back on a life blighted by depression, anxiety, and confusion about why I couldn't fit in and make friends like everyone else.  I also look back on a life of missed opportunities, mainly to do with lack of confidence.  I often wonder how much differently my life might have turned out had I been diagnosed as a child.  But there it is.  I can't change it.  I need to move on as best I can. At least now, I have that knowledge.

My gradual withdrawal, too, began in my 30s.  I now live alone, having had enough of failed relationships.  I work, but I don't have any friends outside of work - and the people I work with aren't really friends, as such.  I'm also alienated from much of my family - apart from my mother, who is close, and who seems to 'get' me.

It isn't always easy to write or talk about yourself - especially with NTs, who may try to understand and empathise, but often can't.  This is why I've found forums like this helpful.  It's a community of like-minded people.  Hopefully, you'll soon find yourself having the confidence to share more things on here.  I'm reading posts all the time and thinking 'Hey, that's just like me!'  It makes you feel no longer alone.

See you around!

All the best,

Tom