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Hello

maaya
over 8 years ago

Hi

I have recently received an aspergers diagnosis which has been a relief but also quite daunting as I still have quite a few issues for which there appears to be no help.  Hence my writing this as I am hoping someone out there might have some ideas.

I am a mother of 2 young children, at least one of whom has aspie traits.  I find dealing with their screaming really difficult and hate to admit I can end up screaming too because there is nowhere to go to get away from the noise.  I really need this to stop and would love yr suggestions, I have tried sure start for advice and am giving rewards for good behaviour etc but the meltdowns are happening more and more, usually concerned with sharing or relating to one another.

Another issue I have is with my Christian faith and being an aspie.  I can't seem to find any information about this and was wondering if anyone knew of any reading material?  I find social relationships really difficult which doesn't seem to help me fit in to the church environment at all.

Hopefully someone out there has some advice..

Many thanks 

Parents
  • over 8 years ago

    Hi there,

    Just wanted to say I understand how you are feeling - one of my children is particularly prone to meltdowns too. Mine are a bit older than yours by the sound of it, so we get less of the screaming now, but I find it very hard to deal with that kind of behaviour. I think over time I've begun to see my own behaviour  at their age in them, and remember how I felt, which makes me begin to intuitively realise what I need to do to calm the screaming. Often that just means recognising that the thing they are screaming about is really, really important to them at that moment, and they might not even know why - but once I show them that I see that, they often calm down very quickly.It's not easy of course, as it means going nearer the screaming.

    And I know it might feel like giving in to the screaming, but I've felt that just articulating how they might be feeling and giving them the words to describe how they feel, without actually giving them the toy etc (which they have often long forgotten about) can really help - because they (and we), with ASD traits, probably feel things more intensely than NTs, yet often are less able to descibe our feelings? Forgive me if this is all way off the mark, but just wanted to offer my thoughts and theories and let you know you are not alone :)

Reply
  • over 8 years ago

    Hi there,

    Just wanted to say I understand how you are feeling - one of my children is particularly prone to meltdowns too. Mine are a bit older than yours by the sound of it, so we get less of the screaming now, but I find it very hard to deal with that kind of behaviour. I think over time I've begun to see my own behaviour  at their age in them, and remember how I felt, which makes me begin to intuitively realise what I need to do to calm the screaming. Often that just means recognising that the thing they are screaming about is really, really important to them at that moment, and they might not even know why - but once I show them that I see that, they often calm down very quickly.It's not easy of course, as it means going nearer the screaming.

    And I know it might feel like giving in to the screaming, but I've felt that just articulating how they might be feeling and giving them the words to describe how they feel, without actually giving them the toy etc (which they have often long forgotten about) can really help - because they (and we), with ASD traits, probably feel things more intensely than NTs, yet often are less able to descibe our feelings? Forgive me if this is all way off the mark, but just wanted to offer my thoughts and theories and let you know you are not alone :)

Children
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