Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I'm a 50-year-old single man who's currently in the NHS system waiting for an Asperger's diagnosis. I have some support from the CMH team, but I want to help myself. There is a reason for this. On my third visit with the CMH team, I was told they had some good news. The good news was a letter from the NHS saying that after consideration, I did not qualify for funding to put me forward for tests. "What are you thinking right now?" asked my support worker. I replied that I was thinking about how I could kill myself. A remark that was challenged as reactionary. After 45 minutes of utter despair, the support worker said, a little patronisingly, let's read the letter again - there were just three sentences. At the top of the letter were three numbers - an internal reference, a case number and my DOB. The DOB was wrong. It was not my letter. Two agonising hours later, I was called to be told they had made a mistake and I did qualify for funding. I have major issues of trust as it is. This caved me in. This is why I want to try to help myself. I'm in a queue, but I don't know how long it'll take. Are there any videos, or articles I can read that can help me accept my situation? Where can I turn to for advice?
Hello Recombinantsocks. Thanks for making me feel included. I've been a writer for a long time and your language tells me I can trust you. I'm at the point where the diagnosis will just be a confirmation to be honest. I've done lots of research over the past four years or so. In the past few months I feel as if I have been given a map showing me where I've been and where I can go next. It's the direction I need to work on. I do feel quite positive, but a bit apprehensive. I've made a lot of mistakes in the past and I've been homeless for seven months. It's not grim! I have a workshop where I can keep my 'life' and I sleep in a camper van outside the workshop. I do have a part-time job working for a friend who understands me. I'm hungry to exploit my condition, if you know what I mean? It's controlled my life for 50 years and now I want to use it to help me... Thank you again. A lovely boost to my confidence!