Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, my name is John, I am looking after my older brother Michael with help from my aunt and close family. I have been looking after him since 2013 when my father died. Michael is in his mid fifties and has only just been diagnosed with medium to severe autism. He is in a bad way mentally. He has also been diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder. He is a recluse and refuses interaction with other people. He also has no motivation to help himself or me. I pay all his bills, do all his shopping and maintain his environment. Michael blames my late mother and father for his, as he sees it bad living conditions. He is very hard to deal with. He suffers from OCD, hords rubbish, refuses to open the curtains or windows. Keeps food on the floor and will not use the refrigerator. Often eating 15 to 20 day old food that should have been refrigerated. He often refuses to open the door and gets aggressive if we try to help with cleaning ect. The mental health and council seem to think it's OK to visit once a week or fortnight for 5 minutes and then declare "he's alright". Michael is always saying he will comit suicide and shouldn't have been born. He rants and swears loudly, often we receive complaints from nieghbours. He suffers severe mood swings from calm to ranting and shouting. I am worried for his safety and have expressed my concern's but it all seems to fall of deaf ears. He is living under the borough of [removed by mod] council. We have been informed that this is the worst in the country with regards to mental health. I welcome any advice or comments that you may have.
Thanks for your post.
I found it interesting. I discussed it with my family and followed the link you gave and found a questionair that could be completed. With help from family, I filled in the questionair on my brothers behalf and the resulting score was 39. It states that someone from age 12 to 17 with a score of 45 would be considered to have PDA. It would seem that this test is for children so may not be applicable as Michael is 54 years old. Some of the traits it discribes sound exactly right and others not at all, but overall I suspect he may be affected in some way by this condition.
With regards to if Michael thinks he is alright, he sometimes will say he's OK. Other times he states he's trapped in someone else's life / world.
He seems to be happy to bump along in life resigned to the fact that what ever happens, will happen. The sort of things that go on are as follows. Michael lives alone. I ring and ask if he's OK and all is well. He says yes, all is good. I go to visit. I find a pipe is leaking and the kitchen is flooded. The fence has blown over.
He had a lightning strike that blew a hole in the roof and caused electrical items in the house to explode. He said nothing. The heating boiler failed for over 3 weeks in November, I only discovered this when I tried to wash my hands. He will wear inappropriate clothes, often he will wear a t shirt when it's freezing and stand shivering. I will say go and put a jumper on and he will say hes OK. On arriving at his home, when I notice something is wrong and discover theres a problem. He will say something like "I'm just one of those people who dosnt have heating" or " I'm one of those people who has no TV ".
The point is that even when he thinks he's OK he isn't. Or he wants to be on his own so badly that he will not want to request help? His problems are very complicated and hard to fathom.