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aspiemark said:

As for changing my GP, I'm not too sure about that, generally he's pretty good he's just not so great with mental health issues,

Glad to hear you are feeling better.

I would have thought that being good with MH issues might be more useful than anything else if that is what you are struggling with. You could just investigate this as an option - the more options you have the better.

I'm not sure if ATW has time limits but isn't it better to look at how it could halp rather than looking to find fault with it. We can be too critical for our own good sometimes.

Hi aspiemark,

It's really great that you are feeling better than when you initially posted. In terms of feeling isolated maybe you could contact our helpline so we can signpost you to help. The helpline can also be contacted by email.

In terms of employment, you may find it helpful to look at our website if you haven't already done so.

I hope that this helps you but if not please don't hesitate to contact us so we can give you some further support

Sofie Mod

hi folks,

thanks for the advice etc.

I've been staying off the drink since I made my first post and am not feeling so depressed anymore, I've also been sleeping better than I have in a while, but I'm back to being isolated again, there doesn't seem to be any middle ground with me.

I've been looking for adult NAS groups in my area and there doesn't really seem to be anything, the nearest (as far as I can tell) appears to be in the next county, which isn't much help - I don't like travelling much.

As for changing my GP, I'm not too sure about that, generally he's pretty good he's just not so great with mental health issues, but then in my experience most people are pretty useless when it comes to mental health issues. This includes my local mental health team - most of whom seemed to be self serving careerists who cared little about the job and saw working in mental health as an easy way to work their way up the ladder.

I have been self employed in the past, for almost 10 yrs infact, but the stress of dealing with customers, doing the accounts and all the other extra things you have to do when self employed was just too much for me in the end, I seemed to spend all day working, I think I probably pushed myself too hard and I ended up having a breakdown.

I'm not sure if I've heard about the Access To Work scheme, I've enquired about several schemes over the years but most of them seemed to have hidden catches like being time limited or something like that.

Hi AspieMark,

Is there a NAS group for adults in your area? This might give some mutual support and social exercise that might be good for you.

Have you come across the government's Access To Work scheme? You are likely to qualify for this given your long term unemployment and diagnosis.This provides funding for specialist training. The govt claim that they understand that work is good for you and this is an attempt to turn it into action.

I think you touch on an interesting point. Living independently might sound like a "good thing" but it can end in more social isolation which definitely a bad thing.

Have you looked at finding a more sympathetic GP? A Dr that wants to dole out SSRIs doesn't sound like they understand ASD at all. Some GPs and practices are more awake to ASD than others. Most GPs have websites where they identify their special interests. I recently had to change GPs as my previous GP retired and I have picked a practice that has a GP who stated "I have a clinical interest in mental health and medicine" in her profile.

PS An alternative to The Samaritans is saneline www.sane.org.uk/.../helpline .

Also, there are not only people going through the same issues but there are people who have come through and come out the other side from the mental trap that you have found yourself in.

if there's something you do well then do it on your terms, when and where your able.. Plus this will also build confidence talking to others about something you know well and are pass about 

i know how you feel in someways.. I'm 39 , diagnosed last year but always knew I was different. I never had more than one or two friends and I have been where you are now, but you have stepped in the right direction. Help IS hard to find and a lot of the anti- depressants can often make things worse.. When I hit my loneliest times I did what your doing now, I reached out to other autistics online and it was a blessing. Not only did I not feel so alone but I could talk to others who truely understood me. So now I can be hear happy and mentally healthy to return the favour :) I do a lot of yoga and thai chi to focus and balance and that has been as integral to my healing as finding online friends. I also had drink issues as it was the only way I could socialise and not seem like a freaked out serial killer lol.. I really am terrible at face to face and people often think I'm about ready to tear into someone even if I'm content lol...but I found more natural methods to relax me, chamomile tea when it's only mild anxiety and quiet life herbal tabs when it's through the roof.. I also go through the suicidal bouts but ( and I know sounds too easy ) I have over the years trained my brain into thinking " I feel like this now.. I won't tomorrow,if not tomorrow then the next day or the next but it will pass and I will realise how stupid it all seems..then I do an hour of yoga.. if that fails I use music that makes me feel "strong" happy or empowered ... I hope something here has been useful and I haven't been TOO much of a blithering idiot lol

thanks for your kind words everyone.

I have been browsing the forums and have made a couple of posts, I will certainly stick around for a while.

I'm going to try and lay off the drink aswell, as really it is just making things worse, it's going to kill what social life I have though, but I think I need to start looking for other social outlets.

I'm not sure it's a good thing to find others who feel like me, because I wouldn't want anyone to feel like this, but I suppose it helps a bit to know that I'm not alone.

Whilst I would like to find my way back into work again, the pressures of work were one of the main factors contributing to me having a major meltdown/breakdown ( is there a difference ?) which eventually led to me getting diagnosed in the first place.

Also I live in fear of the fact that if I get a job and I can't cope that the process of claiming benefits again would be so stressful for me (assesments etc.) that it would make me quite ill, so I'm kind of wary about losing them now that I have them.

Hi Mark,

I am sorry to hear about the very traumatic situation you find yourself in. I think that in the first instance you should continue to participate in discussions in this forum especially when you are finding things difficult.

I know you feel like you're the only one going through this but the reality is there are many people who share your circumstances. Often alcohol can be a way of quashing and escaping the anxiety in the short-term but can make you feel bad in the long term. It can get you into more challenging situations, have a negative impact on your health generally and cost lots of money (but you already know this!).

People who are diagnosed later do find it difficult because you often have view all of your previous situations through new eyes and come to terms with them. There is a long process. 

As others have said you need to find ways of bring yourself out of isolation such as going to a local support group or maybe try and find a club of something you're really interested in. Maybe you might like to attend a meditation/mindfulness group. That would help with anxiety.

Finding some regular work will also help with confidence though this is much easier said than done.

We sincerely hope you will remain positive and remember that there are people right here on this forum who understand you and want good things to happen for you.

Keep talking to us and take care! 

Avi

Hi aspiemark,

I'm sorry that you are finding things diffcult at the moment. Stonechat has given you some great advice in terms of contacting our helpline. In terms of your mental health, we would advice seeing your GP or phoning 111 if out of GP hours. In terms of an emergency, don't hesitate to go to A&E. I hope that this helps you and we are here to support you.

Sofie Mod

I think that chatting and exchanging experiences on the forums is useful.

It does confirm that in having Asperger's you are not on your own...  there are many other Aspie's out there who will have experienced the same difficulties as yourself at one time or another. 

Online forums seem ideal for Aspie's, taking away the difficulties we can find in face-to-face conversations.

There are usually several interesting topics running... so have a look around the forums. 

Stonechat, thankyou for your reply.

I will try the NAS helpline, I've already had some dealings with the Samaritans but I didn't find it very productive, I find it difficult to communicate my feelings to more normal people and there's only so much you can achieve over the phone .

I'm just wondering if anyone else on here has had similar experiences to me, and if so did you find anything that helped you to cope.

aspiemark,

You can get in touch with the NAS helpline either by e-mail or telephone... there is a link to details, at the top right of this page. The helpline should be able to give you advice and put you in touch with the Autism service nearest to you. There may be an adult Asperger's support group you can attend... where people can understand your problems and situation; as will many people on these forums.

If you feel desperate and need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are always there to listen. 

Good luck.