Published on 12, July, 2020
Well i never thought i would be writing on the community pages of NAS...Maybe its one of those last resort things where you think.. its only typing things on a page.. no one really reads it or cares but its sometimes helpful to get it all out.. Hmm not sure...
My son was diagnosed when he was about 10 after years of SEN intervention.. school action then school action plus... got excluded within a week of senior school.. had to home teach him for a year whilst working nights as a nurse whilst waiting for a statement... New school... FABULOUS.. school was great.. they loved him... he did well.. Obviously we had the usual troubles but we dealt with them... Nightmare stages through exams.. did those.. did well.. did A levels.. did well... Went to University AND IT ALL FELL TO PIECES.... since then my son has lived in his room.. doesnt talk.. wont take medication prescribed for depression.. drinks...gets up when we go to bed and goes to bed before we get up.. lives on his computer... does not bath.. wash.. change his clothes or have his hair cut... HES 20 years old... what can i do? GP and others wont talk to me as he is a adult.. Im sure he thinks that if he is not around when we are then hes not a niance or trouble... he cant see that hes ripping me apart.. he barrs his door on his bedroom so i cant get in.. Im really at a loose end..Suggestions on a postcard?
Excellent news! Thank you for letting us know.
Usually, after a meltdown, I feel like this:-
I am mortaly embarrassed that, once again, the beast has taken me over. It's like having two of us in my head, and I really don't like the other one but don't have any strength to fight it down. It's an overwhelming force, and it's horrible.
In the aftermath, I'm excrutiated by what I've done. Depending on the circumstances, I'll feel that I've made a fool of myself, that I've been acting like a two-year old in a tantrum, and I'm thoroughly ashamed. The hardest thing is to admit all of this, even to myself, and I've had to come to this understanding very late in life and sadly too late. The people who would most have benefitted from finally finding out who I am have all passed away.
I think that in this way, you are lucky to still have each other and lucky to be able to tell him it's OK to be him, but I appreciate that 'luck' is relative!
Under these circumstances, the most helpful thing I've never had is someone close to tell me that they understand, that it wasn't my fault, and that I am loved and wanted, and just cuddle me better. I think your son is lucky to have your understanding, even though you've been emotionaly wracked and wrecked by the experience.
I think that above all else, your attitude (today is a new day, tomorrow could be better) is lovely, and I hope it sustains you all.
Best wishes to all of you