Published on 12, July, 2020
Well i never thought i would be writing on the community pages of NAS...Maybe its one of those last resort things where you think.. its only typing things on a page.. no one really reads it or cares but its sometimes helpful to get it all out.. Hmm not sure...
My son was diagnosed when he was about 10 after years of SEN intervention.. school action then school action plus... got excluded within a week of senior school.. had to home teach him for a year whilst working nights as a nurse whilst waiting for a statement... New school... FABULOUS.. school was great.. they loved him... he did well.. Obviously we had the usual troubles but we dealt with them... Nightmare stages through exams.. did those.. did well.. did A levels.. did well... Went to University AND IT ALL FELL TO PIECES.... since then my son has lived in his room.. doesnt talk.. wont take medication prescribed for depression.. drinks...gets up when we go to bed and goes to bed before we get up.. lives on his computer... does not bath.. wash.. change his clothes or have his hair cut... HES 20 years old... what can i do? GP and others wont talk to me as he is a adult.. Im sure he thinks that if he is not around when we are then hes not a niance or trouble... he cant see that hes ripping me apart.. he barrs his door on his bedroom so i cant get in.. Im really at a loose end..Suggestions on a postcard?
Firstly, I would like to point out a provision of the Data Protection Act. It specificaly provides that information about a person can be shared, provided that the intent of the sharing is for the sole benefit of the subject. The Office of the Information Commissioner will happily explain this point upon enquiry.
I therefore find it difficult for Universities, indeed any establishment, to quote the Data Protection Act as if it is an absolute - it is not, and it's about time more people were aware of, and used, this provision. I would think it essential that when an AS person leaves home (including all that is familiar, and provided) and is thrown into being a largely self-supporting adult, information regarding their welfare can and must be shared.
I find it incredible that any parent doesn't bring their child up to be independent and self-supporting. Nevertheless, Dads and Mums often undermine this process with a misplaced sense of duty, so they keep cooking, cleaning up after them, doing their washing etc, when they could have been teaching people how to look after themselves. Suddenly going from a fully supported to an unsupported lifestyle can be traumatic at best, imagine how it affects AS people.
I've seen 'disabled' people on TV who achieve incredible things, and the common theme is always that from day one, their parents have done everything to encourage that person to do as much as they can, not given their limitations, but rather emphasising their abilities and their responsibility to use them to circumvent limitations - sort of 'look for a way, and you'll find one'.
I endorse everything Longman says. We have a different set of rules for ourselves and the world around us, and we cannot be blamed for the unsanity that surrounds us, nor will a sticking plaster approach suffice. We need a holistic approach to our needs, but we don't get one. The false use of the Data Protection Act is a prime example - NTs just can't be bothered even to understand their own Laws. For my part, I fail to understand why universities continue to aggressively hide behind this lie, but, doesn't it save them a lot of bother? So much for levelling the playing field...
A child is only a junior trainee adult. Sooner or later, every fledgeling must fly the nest. The time to start is when they're born, not when they're 20, or to give a famous quote 'give me the child untill he is 7, and I will give you the man'.