20yr old m son with aspergers... i cant cope!

There's been a discussion on another thread with a similar beginning (Parents and Carers - Son with ASD with social anxiety etc).

Well I say there has been another discussion as original poster hasn't replied and may have been put off - it is two of us (adults with diagnoses)_ arguing the point about whether these situations are avoidable. I'll not repeat it here - you can view if you are curious.

The point is this kind of situation happens a lot. It is very frequently described on here. But there seems to be no advice around.

I thought I'd ask though, what went wrong at university (and Grumpy old man, with regard to college) because it is things like that that seem to have a lot to do with it.

Sometimes university is a boon, because the liberation seems to make young people on the spectrum blossom. But then the problems come post graduation, when the jobs don't follow, which is soul destroying if you've fought through to a degree.

But others do seem to do well getting into university, then run into trouble, usually second year, when aptitude for university study tends to conflict with autism traits. Or else things go wrong in first year.

I wonder whether the pressure to get through GCSEs and then A Levels, if university proves too much of a hurdle, causes massive disappointment and defeatism. That seems to be what happens if success at university is followed by prolonged unemployment. The intensity of fighting to get through increases the risk of what is termed by some "aspie burn out" - the ability to cope under prolonged stress causes a relapse.

University tends not to intervene so much on committment to attend lectures and do assignments. They aren't chased so much, so they fall behind faster and get overwhelmed. Also the learning contract is with the student (similarly at college) and it is thus harder for parents to find out when difficulties arise until things have gone too far.

So I thought it might be useful if you discussed between you on here what factors hit at university or college. I would hope there are other parents who could join in on this, and also younger participants with autism who have seen thios for themselves recently.

I wonder if hitting a wall, academically, might be what causes these intense retreats.

Also I do feel that the reasons for these early life crises needs to be better understood. As I said at the start, they are very often reported.

There's been a discussion on another thread with a similar beginning (Parents and Carers - Son with ASD with social anxiety etc).

Well I say there has been another discussion as original poster hasn't replied and may have been put off - it is two of us (adults with diagnoses)_ arguing the point about whether these situations are avoidable. I'll not repeat it here - you can view if you are curious.

The point is this kind of situation happens a lot. It is very frequently described on here. But there seems to be no advice around.

I thought I'd ask though, what went wrong at university (and Grumpy old man, with regard to college) because it is things like that that seem to have a lot to do with it.

Sometimes university is a boon, because the liberation seems to make young people on the spectrum blossom. But then the problems come post graduation, when the jobs don't follow, which is soul destroying if you've fought through to a degree.

But others do seem to do well getting into university, then run into trouble, usually second year, when aptitude for university study tends to conflict with autism traits. Or else things go wrong in first year.

I wonder whether the pressure to get through GCSEs and then A Levels, if university proves too much of a hurdle, causes massive disappointment and defeatism. That seems to be what happens if success at university is followed by prolonged unemployment. The intensity of fighting to get through increases the risk of what is termed by some "aspie burn out" - the ability to cope under prolonged stress causes a relapse.

University tends not to intervene so much on committment to attend lectures and do assignments. They aren't chased so much, so they fall behind faster and get overwhelmed. Also the learning contract is with the student (similarly at college) and it is thus harder for parents to find out when difficulties arise until things have gone too far.

So I thought it might be useful if you discussed between you on here what factors hit at university or college. I would hope there are other parents who could join in on this, and also younger participants with autism who have seen thios for themselves recently.

I wonder if hitting a wall, academically, might be what causes these intense retreats.

Also I do feel that the reasons for these early life crises needs to be better understood. As I said at the start, they are very often reported.