Think my adult son has autism.

Hi,

I am looking for advice.  I think my adult son has autism. He doesn't like to wash.  He has been living with a flatmate for 18 months, and now back with me.  His flat was dirty and messy.  Doesn't do housework. If I ask him to clean up, he totally flips.  Punches the side of his head.  He is not sociable.  Doesn't like going out to pubs etc.  He is nearly 25.  He has loads of bags to empty and paperwork to sort.  Can't deal with that either.  He is at the moment, on anti depressants.  He also pushed me in the kitchen the other day.  I am scared he will hit me.  Walking on egg shells, incase he gets upset.  He just comes home from work and "chills".  His room is disgusting. I don't want to say anything incase it pushes him over the edge.  He sometimes talks monotone and repeats himself. I took him to doctors when he was a child, nothing was done.   He threw himself downstairs when he was 15.  He went on anti depressants then.   

  • You probably need to go over this again and think about several aspects over the longer term. What you describe has autism undertones but could fit a lot of young men.

    Not liking to wash is sometimes sensory - water hurts, soap smells may be unpleasant. While autism can entail executive function issues, not good at taking care of himself or washing, you'd have seen these behaviours right back to early childhood.

    Not sociable and not liking going to pubs needs a bit of examination. Not being sociable would have shown up right back to childhood, so is this lack of socialisation a clear pattern over many years?  Going to pubs seems to be generational - not every generation revels in the pub scene... and his choice of friends may not be pub goers.

    Aggression in autism is usually about sensory overload, though there are other causes, but you may need to look to other causes than autism.

    Talking in monotone can be a manifestation of autism, but usually associated with a fixed, blank or morose facial expression, and again you would have seen a lot of it back to childhood, and probably gaze aversion, not looking people in the eye.