Hello, I'm new - need advice about CBT

Have just looked up Sotos syndrome. I'm really sorry to say that this would suggest that CBT may be less hopeful in this case depending on the degree of cognitive impairment that he suffers. As I understand it, CBT would work better with better cognitive ability.

Given that he has this basket of very real problems, he should qualify for allowances that might help you get additional support. Is that an avenue that you have looked into?

That Youthmindfulness thing looks as though it might help as they are targeting children from 7+.

There is a big part of CBT, mindfulness and TA that pushes people into more adult like (i.e. reasonable) behaviour. I think I might be less hopeful with an 8yo who should be "acting his age" i.e. he should be in the child state where he expects the adults to be reasonable and that they would not expose him to things that he can't cope with. To take an extreme case - if a baby cries then you do not try and persuade it not to cry by rational argument. Instead, you soothe and calm and provide anything that it really needs (food, drink, a chance to sleep) An 8 year old will be much more amenable to reason but he is still a child and might respond best if he is allowed to fill that role.

At the end of the day it will depend on the child, the therapist, your own behaviour. You can't expect that a cure will follow a course of treatment.

Hi Lovely23,

Have you thought about trying this.

https://youthmindfulness.org/

I've sat a course myself and used the CD material to work with my son who suffers with anxiety and Flare ups of IBS during bouts of stress.

If you'd prefer therapy, transactional analysis may be another option.

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/transactional-analysis.html

For me CBT on several different occassions was not helpful, but TA in the later part of my life was a huge help.

I think it's important to remember that many factors affect the possible outcome. The very first being someone who understands the condition and a therapist that gels with your child. It can be very much a question of trial and error.

What I'm trying to say is, don't disguard one type of therapy as useless, try it several times with different therapists if necessary, before you dismiss it.

My experiences with my most recent therapist (TA) have been life altering.

Good Luck.

Coogybear. X

My understanding of CBT is that you have to believe that progress is possible. If you don't think it will work then it won't. A lot of people with ASD believe that their behaviour is so hard-coded, and also their past experiences are so bad that it is difficult or impossible to get to the point where they are willing to persuade themrselves that you can change the way that you react to situations. You can't really impose a treatment of CBT on someone in the same way that you would treat someone with drugs or first aid.

With an eight year old, I think that it would be difficult to get to that point of trust. I remember from when I was young how I feared the dentist. No amount of persuasion about how sensible and rational it was to subject yourself to their care worked. I avoided the dentist for many years but am now able to be more grown-up in persuading myself that it is the right and necessary thing to do.

I think Crystal is probably on the right track - if it is unbearable for him to be surrounded by crying children then it may be better to not expose him to that "torture". He may be very deeply upset by it (noise sensitivity may be the issue but he may also have some bad experience that started him off) and no amount of persuasion might reduce the distress that he is feeling.

My adult son cannot tolerate being in the company of crying babies + children.  His hearing has become increasingly sensitive to this type of noise (crying/screaming) since he was about 16.  It built up slowly.  He also gets more upset if he can see their faces as the noise is going on.  He is able to cope better if he knows he can walk away or that they are going away.   Being trapped with them would be a nightmare for him, such as being in a cafe, a lift, a room where he'd be expected to stay.  He has to be able to leave.  So I think trying to get him to visit friends/relatives where he is expected not only to stay but to "behave" is unrealistic at this stage.  I hope you don't mind me saying so. (the smilies aren't working).  It is incredible difficult to make progress with.  My son reacts better if he feels in control.  However, he does see himself as the victim in this + will complain whilst the noise is ongoing.  He does not have empathy or sympathy for the babies + children.  He just wants them to stop + altho he will walk away, he doesn't like having to do so.  Good quality headphones or ear defenders can help by blocking out the noise.  But as you say, he's waiting for the babies/children to start being noisy, so he's strung out from the word go.  It may be that you can't visit with him at this stage.  You could check out whether there's info on "desensitisation" techniques.   My son is frightened of being unable to get away from the noise because it makes him so upset.  CBT done neurotypically wouldn't work for my son.  As has been previously mentioned, whether a modified cbt for autistic people would work seems to be open to debate.  

Hi

I've found one study which suggests it can help:

vtechworks.lib.vt.edu/.../S1352465811000063a.pdf

However this form of CBT was highly modified so that it was suitable for younger children and I don't know how easy a programme like that would be for you to find. Parental involvment seems to be crucial to success and you may not find CBT that included it.

Autistic adults are divided about CBT, with some saying it really helps and others saying it had no effect. This may be down to the delivery and materials used or it may be due to differences in cognitive function between autistic individuals.