Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a mum of two, 14 year old boy with asperger and a 12 year old boy with stress!
I am new to this ... expressing feeling and thoughts, I've never been on face book.
Most people, even though I'm lucky to very sympathetic friends, they don't really understand - although, they have children and every parent understands what it's like to worry.
(I nearly wrote 'even with perfect children' - but everyone has perfect children - it's just the world around and being able understand them, that's the difference isn't it?)
I know I need others who 'get' the problems without the added questions like: 'why doesn't he talk to the teachers at school?', 'why does he refuse to have his hair cut?', 'why doesn't he leave the house?' - HE JUST DOESN'T!! Worst of all, the looks like you're a soft parent who should just get their act together ... even my husband puts the blame of me for being too soft.
Do you get the feeling that you're the only one who can see a melt down approaching? - to be avoided at all costs - even if the end result is a domestic ... hard on the heart - but no one gets hit and nothing gets broken.
My youngest son always got it first - small, easy target - I've been his body guard all his life - I wasn't very good at the start, but I've learnt along the way. Unfortunately, I felt the only option for a long time was I had to take the blows for him ... not a nice place to be.
We're past the hitting out bit - nearly a year now (touch wood). Occasionallly things get broken - I see them as just that, 'things' - no one got hurt - is that wrong?
I'm not alone am I? R
RosieF said:I can see the way he walks and his behaviour when he is outside - it's so rigid and controlled - the wind blowing his hair in the wrong position can be stressful.As an adult you say that left is still hard - do you feel life gets easier? Also, does more awareness for Asperger help, I assume that it wasn't very well understood in your youth?
I can see the way he walks and his behaviour when he is outside - it's so rigid and controlled - the wind blowing his hair in the wrong position can be stressful.
As an adult you say that left is still hard - do you feel life gets easier? Also, does more awareness for Asperger help, I assume that it wasn't very well understood in your youth?
In my case, I never got the support I needed - partly because there was less awareness and partly because my parents are likely on the spectrum too. In the 80's there were special schools but perhaps I wasn't identified as SN due to being a top student, getting top grades. My whole school life I had selective mutism, hardly speaking in public, I had no friends, was clearly different and social services were involved as I guess they must have thought my behaviour was due to abuse. I think if there had been more awareness, I wouldn't have struggled so much. I would say that over the years, I have learnt how to cope with life because I've had no chouce but to. For example, I had to speak, learn how to make a phonecall and go to the supermarket since nobody else was going to do it for me. Friendships and social situations have never been easy, but I've learnt through mistakes and losing friends what's acceptable and what isn't. This is still ongoing. I'd much rather not have to socialise at all as I find it painful. I do suffer from depression at times and I lack motivation because everything needs to have a point and I overthink everything. The way I feel and think about things hasn't really changed, but I've been able to adapt and found ways to cope well enough to lead an independent life. Having the diagnosis helps as I don't see myself as being odd any more; I see myself as someone that just sees the world differently and sometimes that can be a good thing.