Hi everyone. I'm Kate, 23 and just qualified as a nurse. I have a daughter- Lily who is amazing in every way and such a little character.
She has always passed assessments completed by the health visitor with no concerns except for her speech - this was due to deafness but grommets solved this just before her second birthday in May!
When I first noticed her hearing was off (around 9 months old) I asked the health visitor to come out as I had a gut instinct she was autistic however I was assured her behaviours were more or less down to recurrent ear infections and nlt being able to hear. Her behaviours at this young age were things like hardly any eye contact (Only when Lily wanted to), no name response, slight hand flap and also a thing she done with her eyes (putting them to a side to look at people rather than turning round) .. We found all these things endearing and loved her for them, she makes us laugh so much everyday!
Lily was 2 in May and that gut feeling of autism has always been there. Now her behaviours are severe hand flapping, spinning, lack of eye contact, no name response, doesn't mix well with children, bites herself when frustrated, likes her own space (removes my hand from her leg etc), no words spoken, tipping toes, jumping whilst making high pitch noises while spinning, looking at things from different angles as mentioned "side eyes", sometimes will want things in a certain way e.g a teddy on her left and if it's moved will get upset. There's probably more but it's hard to list them. Also mainly instigates cuddles with my only and even than it basically on her terms haha. She is very very loving but a trust has to be in place first.
At her two month assessment I expressed all this as some of the autistic traits are well known- and although a lot of it could be down to learning sounds and new words following her grommets operation, the assessor agreed a referral must be made to determine if Lily is autistic. The social-emotional part of the questionnaire wasnot passed this time although previously it has been When she was younger.
Lily has has also started getting upset in nursery to the point where she bit herself because she was put into group activity and didn't like it :( also when her arm got stuck getting dressed due to frustrstion she bit herself. Nursery have agreed with my referral and worries as they have noticed the same traits plus they've mentioned Lily completely zoned out into day dreams at times for 5-10 minutes.
I am very patient with Lily but I have no experience of autism. I have had sleepless nights reading etc but I was wondering how do I now react to her behaviours such as biting herself or me? Do I tell her off? If she gets upset about something which may be down to autism do I show discipline or not?
I tend to give her a look and a stern voice and explain its naughty, as well as comforting her when she is really upset, but the question is, U.S. Her behaviour actually naughty? Can she help this?
I am aware I have not got a confirmed diagnosis and appreciate she might not be autistic but all family members and also nursery staff have now expressed concerns. It would also be useful to hear other people's opinions I an aware only a professional can make this diagnosis but hearing other people's experiences would be fantastic.
Lily's nursery and health visitor have been fantastic settig up 1 on 1 speech and launguage (yet to commence) as well as play plans for nursery. Which in hoping will helpher
I would love to hear everyone's experiences and appriciate any advice.
kate xx