Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey
I'm a 23 year old woman, living with suspected autism. I often feel like a alien trying to blend in but never quite succeeding in integrating with the natives. Here is a little about me please feel free to take a read, apologies for spelling/grammar mistakes I am diagnosed as having dyslexia.
In school they told me I was weird and that I would grow up to be the crazy cat lady, I couldn't imagine anything I would enjoy more currently I foster cats and work at a nursing home but every day is a struggle.
Although my gp has referred me 3 times to be tested for autism apparently because I have a job and therefore they assume I can function in society and I am 'not autistic enough'. I have a lot of the symptoms associated with being in the autistic spectrum and the people working with autistic people often ask me if I have autistism or tell me I do have autism. Over time I have just ended up assuming I am autistic or I have a mental disorder making me socially awkward.
Currently I have no real friends. I have some hobbies including glamour\alternative photography modelling and pole dancing. Despite how it sounds, I am not a sex addict and I do really struggle with my social job and hobbies.
I think I covered most relevant points feel free to ask questions < i use a lot of Smiley's I find it easier to understand people online who use them as I seem to do a good amount of communication through body language and this helps give a indication of mood and intention.
Hi, and welcome
It's surprising how many people 'think' they're ASD because other people say things to them that are the same or similar to what has been said to you.
I spent all of my life being called every name under the sun. It's extremely hurtful, the worst part being the total lack of understanding of the people who say them. I have no idea why 'humans' can't grasp the simplest concepts in the way that I do.
I only got my diagnosis a few months ago, and Im quite old now. I was asked what difference the diagnosis might make, and the range of differences was so immediately great to me that I couldn't answer. It can be quite difficult to answer such complex questions, and certainly, putting it into human language would take too long, but it has made all the difference imaginable.
I've felt like an 'alien' all of my life, it's as if I've been planted on this planet to observe the humans, and report back to the Galactic Council on their progress (which I find limited and with no prospect for improvement). By the way, I should explain that I now refer to non-ASD people as 'humans' - a bit tongue in cheek, but also the perfect way for me to describe how I feel about 'humans. They're totally unsane, but mostly kind.
I think that most of us would encourage you to seek a formal diagnosis. I can't explain why mine has made such a difference, but a major result is being able to come to terms with who I am, and being able to put all of that past experience of people into context. By their standards, I'm wierd, by my standards, they're stupid, selfish and completely illogical.
Now, does any of this strike a chord with you?