Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I am twenty-six years old and was diagnosed last week with Asperger's.
I was diagnosed with bipolarity, depression and anxiety disorders as a child and was found to be dyslexic when I was around seven or eight years old. I always had a hard time interacting with people and would get anxious when my routine was disturbed, but my parents thought it had to do with my other disorders and mostly ignored them. As I got older, I continued having issues and it was earlier this year that someone asked me if I was austistic due to my behavior (apparently her son is autistic and had similar traits). I was a little taken aback and felt suddenly very self-concious as I did not know this person well. I said, no, I wasn't, but ever since that conversation, I began to wonder. I went to see my GP for my regular yearly physical and asked her about a referal to a local diagnostian. She asked why and I said I wanted to speak to someone about the possiblity of me being autistic. She agreed, stating she'd often wondered herself. I had my appointment and was told they would let me know.
Last week I received a phone call from the diagnostian's office with my results. They told me I had mild to moderate Asperger's Syndrome. I was shocked as I honestly did not think I could be (I was never exposed to anyone with autisum until I was in CEGEP, so I didn't really understand it or how it affected people). So I looked up the material they directed me to and read up on the diagnois I was given. After reading through symptoms and traits, I realized it was blindingly obvious that this was what was causing my bizarre behavior. While surprising, actually knowing what was causing this made me feel... well, better. Finally knowing the cause made me feel almost free.
I have not told my family (their view on mental illness and autisum is not wonderful and they would likely consider it attention seeking behavior or an exaggeration), but I did tell my fiance. I was nervous to tell him. I panicked at the thought of him leaving me because of this, because I was different, because maybe he wouldn't understand. He came home to me crying, in mid-panic attack, shaking on our couch. He sat down beside me, hugged me and asked what was wrong. I had had a perfectly planned speech and explaination in my head before, had practiced it in the mirror until it was perfect, but all that came out was "I have Asperger's!" admid a new flood of tears. He held me tighter, kissed my forehead and said "I thought so. I love you and having the diagnosis doesn't change that." I was so thankful for his reaction.
But now I'm not sure what to do. Does this change how I should be acting? Should I seek treatment? I had done cognitive behavioral therapy from thirteen to twentyone years old, should I go back? Do I need to tell employers? Friends? How do I bring it up? Should I?
I would do a Google search for groups in your area, or you could look at the NAS directory.
yes, im female. How do you go about finding these groups?
Hi Moonlight, are you female? The reason I ask is that Asperger groups are often male dominated and it can be hard to find female peers. That said, I attend a group which has a few women members, and I have made a close friend there and a few other friends/acquaintances, some women and some men.
Groups do vary a lot, and I have attended a few groups in the last 7 years. It is only the group I attend now that has really benefited me in terms of finding friends.
I personally don't think you should have to pay because socialising is so important for people with Asperger's, who find it hard to meet people. Also many people with AS are on benefits or in low paid jobs, as you mention. But sadly groups often introduce fees because they are often run by non-statutory bodies. I think that County Councils should provide free social groups for people with ASD.
This may be a bit unrelated, but i got a question. I have been trying to get on somekinda waiting lists for support groups for a few months now and when finally met up with my support worker, she advised that nearest support group is quite far and only acessible via bus(Youd think theyd put some more consideration in the location of such groups as am sure im not the only aspie who finds traveling via busses rather terrifying!), plus you gotta pay to attend, which is another source of worry as considering i can only cope with part time, its not like i exactly earn alot. However, it does seem like the ony option i might ever be able to make any friends, thus would still like to go. However i was wondering if theres any way to seach for these sort of groups via distance or something or where id find any info about if there were maybe any less formal gatherings for aspies that might be closer or more easiy acessible? Also, as far as the support groupd go, i dont actually know what they do in these or if they any good, is there anybody here that actually attends one? Has it helped?
I only got diagnosed last year and for me it was much needed. People around me know about it but then I am very much in a supporitive environment. So I viewed it as a huge relief even though I didn't really know much about it. Over the year I have had some sessions that helped me to understand me that bit more. It don't resolve things for me, not the biggest thing I need to resolve but it now giving me means that other people can help me to resolve issues as they happen rather than lots of little issues forming one tight knot. The biggest thing I need resolving, well one very kind support is helping me deal with that too. So I see autism as a good thing for me. I hate it at times but now it is getting me to unravel tight knots as they happen rather than taking 6 weeks or so to climb down from them happening. The best therapy I have is getting the formal diagnosis but through a contact and agreement I have, I email things as they happen rather than things building up. Things do build up. But they have an outlet now. I don't talk about feelings and things that happen very much. But I can write them in email form. This was happening before even the referal was made and that person has moved which made me go and find someone else to email to. It better when I see them from time to time. I don't take any medicines for autism. I do find social chat hard. Email is my main way of dealing with difficulties. Some wordings are changed for me too. But people knowing I have autism allows them to work out how best to help me when things happen rather than look at me in askance when I have moments.
well as far as i know there isnt much going on in treatment wise, exept formaybe something for anxiety or depression and such. As for changing how you act, your not a different person, now are you? youve had the condition your whole life, so no reason to change much, but you may be able to get some help with stuff, if your struggling with anything. Am glad you got a very supportive partner, better than most of us i guess in that respect. As for employees, there is something called workaid that can notify your work, but id only suggest it if your having problems, or theres something they might need to adapt because of your condition. So if letting them know will make anything better, go fot it. Otherwise id keep it to myself, cuz it can cause some people to then start labeling you as somewhat defective or with a mental problem, neither which is very nice. As for any other treatments or therapies, what do you think would benefit you the best? If you think something might help, go for it, if not, dont bother wasting time for the sake of it, but thats jsut my oppinion. I myself am 25 btw, also only got the diagnosis sometime in march:)