Hello

Hi Chris,

First things first: please don't call yourself weird.

Just because other people value different things doesn't make us weird. (Although, to be fair, I still struggle with that word myself, so it's much easier to say than it is to believe.)

The fact that you're here tells me something important: you haven't given up on yourself. That's a good thing.

For years I thought I was "the weird one". I've lost count of how many things I was assessed for, suspected of having, referred for, or diagnosed with. These days I'm fairly sure I've developed an allergy to referrals and NHS. The symptoms include LITERALY immediate exhaustion just hearing the phrase "we'd like to refer you to..." 

One thing I've learned is that many people mistake a need for clarity, structure, and precise information for anxiety, stubbornness, or being difficult.

Even my current psychologist initially told me that my need for clarity was a sign of distress. A few months later I discovered she hadn't actually read the previous referral notes or assessment reports before reaching that conclusion. When she finally did, her response was basically, "Oh... that changes things."

At that point my trust was pretty much gone. The discussion about wanting to meet me without any preconceived assumptions sounded reasonable in theory, but in practice it made my stomach flip. If information already exists, why ignore it?

Growing up, my mum worked incredibly hard to help me understand social situations. I also became very good at learning scripts and playing the expected role. The problem is that my brain become so good at performing that people assume everything is fine, while I break at home.

Since living independently, some of the struggles have become more obvious again. I've had feedback at work, feedback in my personal life, and plenty of moments where I've realised I interpreted something completely differently from everyone else.

Sometimes people simply don't understand experiences they've never had themselves. And honestly, some of us would rather discuss fascinating information, special interests, or how something works than spend twenty minutes talking by the office coffee machine about the weather. I don't see that as a flaw. Just a different priority.

How is it going for you?

Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

Hi Chris,

First things first: please don't call yourself weird.

Just because other people value different things doesn't make us weird. (Although, to be fair, I still struggle with that word myself, so it's much easier to say than it is to believe.)

The fact that you're here tells me something important: you haven't given up on yourself. That's a good thing.

For years I thought I was "the weird one". I've lost count of how many things I was assessed for, suspected of having, referred for, or diagnosed with. These days I'm fairly sure I've developed an allergy to referrals and NHS. The symptoms include LITERALY immediate exhaustion just hearing the phrase "we'd like to refer you to..." 

One thing I've learned is that many people mistake a need for clarity, structure, and precise information for anxiety, stubbornness, or being difficult.

Even my current psychologist initially told me that my need for clarity was a sign of distress. A few months later I discovered she hadn't actually read the previous referral notes or assessment reports before reaching that conclusion. When she finally did, her response was basically, "Oh... that changes things."

At that point my trust was pretty much gone. The discussion about wanting to meet me without any preconceived assumptions sounded reasonable in theory, but in practice it made my stomach flip. If information already exists, why ignore it?

Growing up, my mum worked incredibly hard to help me understand social situations. I also became very good at learning scripts and playing the expected role. The problem is that my brain become so good at performing that people assume everything is fine, while I break at home.

Since living independently, some of the struggles have become more obvious again. I've had feedback at work, feedback in my personal life, and plenty of moments where I've realised I interpreted something completely differently from everyone else.

Sometimes people simply don't understand experiences they've never had themselves. And honestly, some of us would rather discuss fascinating information, special interests, or how something works than spend twenty minutes talking by the office coffee machine about the weather. I don't see that as a flaw. Just a different priority.

How is it going for you?

Looking forward to reading more of your posts.