- My 20 year old son hasn’t yet been diagnosed with autism, but he is on the waiting list and as far as I’m aware has about a year left before he can have his assessment. But it is obvious that he has autism to a degree. He has struggled ever since I can remember. He needed support through primary school and at high school - even though I ended up taking him out for three years to homeschool him because he couldn’t cope anymore. I encouraged him to go to college which he successfully did - first year was often absent, but by the third year his attendance was much better and with so much struggle he passed all three years and I’m so proud of him.
But now he’s about to go into the work life, he is so scared to the point where he feels like he just can’t. He went to an interview - requested a one on one and he got offered a temporary Christmas job at Tesco and completely freaked out on the phone and ended up refusing it even though he really wanted the job And then had a full on meltdown afterwards.
He feels like he relies on me too much too. I don’t wrap him in cotton wool Because I want him to be able to live a life where he’s not tied down by his problems, but as a mother I need to protect him based on viewing his experiences and because I’m scared he’s going to not be here anymore. He has also misophonia which he struggles with on a daily basis and as a result, he hates people because they are so loud. And the environment is so loud. He doesn’t think he’s meant for this world. I just don’t know what to do. I hope you don’t mind me writing this post whether anyone answers or not it doesn’t matter. It was just a way for me to get this off my chest. I feel like I have no one else to talk to anymore either about it. I feel isolated from friends Because all of the people I know, their children are absolutely fine enough and managed well. Ones who he grew up with and are the same age he can’t socialise with them at all anymore and they say they like him but they clearly don’t understand so basically don’t try with him which makes him feel awful as he has tried. So he has given up with them and with anyone. He does have a friend he made at college who is similar to him who he sees maybe once a month so that gives me a little hope.
He has so much potential and he is such an amazing person. He is hard-working and the kind who likes to be able to concentrate but is unable to because there’s too much noise which can make his brain go into a meltdown but he still does it. But he is getting to the end of his tether and he has had quite a few physical meltdowns recently which he hasn’t had much of before. I’m sorry. Thank you for reading.
