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My diagnosis has made me lose my confidence

Wiggy1978

Hi omg this is awkward tbh....I could write a essay but will try to keep it short....ive always struggled through life and was referred for a assessment age 48 and thought I would feel free and relieved at a diagnosis but im not. I now question anything I do and don't trust my own judgement and choices. Im a single mum of 3 children who have also been diagnosed but I suddenly feel like im not strong any more. Ive always been so independent and been happy but now I feel maybe it was a automatic act ive now lost. Im struggling at work as i feel like everything has changed and I don't know how to deal with the diagnosis...I actually wish I hadn't had the assessment and just gone on with life being quirky and happy....so there's my introduction and probably overshared sorry lol x

  • Do you think all of that I simply down to the diagnosis? 

    Wiggy1978 said:
    ive always struggled through life

    I guess what's happening here is you had expectations that everything would change post diagnosis, when actually it hasn't, perhaps? I think making sense of yourself, and some past experiences, should probably be your first step. After that, there's inevitably a period of 'storming' ...

    It is then that you may find comfort in the new knowledge and understanding that you have found in yourself, which may help to guide you as time goes on ??

  • Hi, 

    Yours seems to be is a very common reaction to an assessment - according to so many people on this forum. So, you are not alone in this.

    I see an assessment as not an ending but just the beginning.

    So, because I think in pictures: my assessment was like being a person who has lived in a dark room when the assessment suddenly opens the door and curtains. The scene is a bright, coloured, vibrant world and therefore confusing. More importantly perhaps, the light now shines upon my dark room which isn't how I imagined it to be. It takes a lot of getting used too. This world has always been there, I just couldn't sense it. 

    I was diagnosed this year too. For me the asessment left me stunned and a bit lost for a about 4 weeks. However, after several months I am more relaxed, confident and happy than I have ever been.

  • First off - don't panic! Many of us find ourselves readjusting our view of our life after diagnosis. Suddenly, a whole lot of things fall into place. Another common reaction is to realise you're pushed yourself to do things 'the normal way' without counting the extra cost to autistic people. 

    Things will settle, eventually. Maybe not in quite the same pattern, but you might find the changes make life easier for you by recognising why some things are more difficult and what you can do to ease that. This immediate post-disgnosis disturbance is a stage. We all go through many stages in our lives and have to make adjustments. This one is a matter of realising what adjustments might suit you better to cope, rather than a complete collapse of who you are. It just feels difficult while you go through it. It's a pain but try not to freak out because you're still the same person you were; you just found out that some of your assumptions about yourself weren't true. That can be a positive thing, even if it doesn't feel that way right now  people hugging