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Recently diagnosed

J0nny

Hi to anyone who may read this. My name is Jonny,  This will probably be an introduction you’ve heard many times before so I apologise if you’ve heard it all before . I was diagnosed with Autism on Monday this week I’m 43 years old.

It has been a total shock I’m also currently in the middle of an adhd assessment I will get my diagnosis 12th November. My life has been dogged for many many many years with severe anxiety and depression, that I’ve now been told has probably had a lot to do with the autism and potentially adhd and because I have become an absolute professional at masking. I’ve prided myself all of my life in being able to get up and work. That is until 5 months ago when I have ended up having a massive breakdown my mind and body finally gave up. 

I’ve spent all of my adult life being treated for anxiety and depression but 5 months ago in a very very dark place I paid to have a full psychiatric assessment, this is when I was told about autism and adhd concerns,it was a massive shock and I’ll be honest I didn’t even know what either thing meant or was really. Then I tentatively started exploring and looking into them and it was like an explosion in my mind of so many things I was relating to that I just thought were me. I quickly became very overwhelmed and stopped. 


I’m aware it’s very early from the diagnosis but I feel like I’m grieving for my life that has been. I feel very lost and alone but most of all I feel very sad wondering if my life could’ve been different. One slightly more positive thing is I think it has given my mum some much needed answers too she has been with me through the assessments so far and has really began to understand why I am the way I am, I think she has found relief from it that there are now answers.
if anyone read all of this thank you for your time. 

Parents

  • Hi Jonny,

    Many thanks for your message. It sounds like you have a lot of things going on at the moment, one thing triggering another thing, etc.
    The possibility of me being autism sort of rumbled on for a number of years and that wasn't comfortable so I cannot imagine how difficult it must be having autism highlighted by a professional and out of the blue, I can however, relate to living a life dominated by depression and anxiety. I am in my 70s and only diagnosed this year and have found it took me several months to absorb/assimilate my diagnosis. I can say I am less anxious, have less low-moods and much happier than I have ever been before. Actually, on reflection, the feeling is one of being untethered and the freedom is a bit unnerving at times.  

    The most common post-assessment advice on this site is: take things slowly and do be kind to yourself. 

    If you have the time it is perhaps worth reading other peoples' experiences of post-assessment. To me there does seem to be clear pattern.

  • in reply to Oscar

    Hi Oscar, Thank you for your msg, in some ways I feel very lucky that my assessments have happened very quickly by the sound of things. I think the fact I went for a psychiatric evaluation and then chose to be referred back to the place that did that has probably helped. 

    Again though, the way my life has turned out, lost relationships, bad relationships, lost friendships constantly struggles with work my severe depression and anxiety has followed me through life I’ve had counselling multiple times I’m currently seeing a counsellor now weekly,  I’ve swapped medications several times without seeing much if any change. This should have been a red flag to my GP but he pigeon holed me into the depression and anxiety and the fact I am just a depressive person and personality and I’m susceptible to it, being told a number of years ago I would never be able to come off my medication. This kind of hurts. Things have obviously been missed at school as a young child then into my teenage years which I know my mum feel absolutely distraught about. I also unfortunately feel like my GP who I’ve seen for the last 15-20 years has been very dismissive about it all as was my mum before my assessments started but thankfully she is fully onboard now and I think many questions have been answered for her which I’m very glad about.  

    I think I’m just going to need time and also some more specialist counselling directly relating to the autism and adhd. 

Reply
  • in reply to Oscar

    Hi Oscar, Thank you for your msg, in some ways I feel very lucky that my assessments have happened very quickly by the sound of things. I think the fact I went for a psychiatric evaluation and then chose to be referred back to the place that did that has probably helped. 

    Again though, the way my life has turned out, lost relationships, bad relationships, lost friendships constantly struggles with work my severe depression and anxiety has followed me through life I’ve had counselling multiple times I’m currently seeing a counsellor now weekly,  I’ve swapped medications several times without seeing much if any change. This should have been a red flag to my GP but he pigeon holed me into the depression and anxiety and the fact I am just a depressive person and personality and I’m susceptible to it, being told a number of years ago I would never be able to come off my medication. This kind of hurts. Things have obviously been missed at school as a young child then into my teenage years which I know my mum feel absolutely distraught about. I also unfortunately feel like my GP who I’ve seen for the last 15-20 years has been very dismissive about it all as was my mum before my assessments started but thankfully she is fully onboard now and I think many questions have been answered for her which I’m very glad about.  

    I think I’m just going to need time and also some more specialist counselling directly relating to the autism and adhd. 

Children
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