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Hi, I’m new here.

KLH

Hi, I’m a 60 year old woman who is about to have an autism assessment.

I come from a family with many neurodivergent individuals, some diagnosed, others not. Two of my daughters are diagnosed.

I’m currently off work due to what is probably autistic burnout, I feel like my brain has gone into standby mode and I can’t make the simplest of decisions. As an NHS scientist I am not going to work while I am like this, I deal with patient specimens and cannot risk making a mistake.

 I have tentatively told my manager that I’m about to have an assessment and that I am most likely autistic. It probably won’t surprise you to know that this came as a surprise to her! I’ve worked in the same laboratory for almost 20 years and have managed to cope for so long that nobody realised.

I’m worried about how to approach going back to work, how long I realistically need to take off to properly rest and I’m also dealing with the inevitable ‘what if I’m just imagining my autism and get outed as a fraud’ type thoughts.

 Sorry this ended up being so long!

Thanks for reading

  • Imposter syndrome is common before and sometimes after a diagnoses, at least for a while. I had it as a woman now in her early 70s with a recent diagnosis. You can read some of the NAS guidance here.  After all, I had coped so long and thought maybe I was making it up to excuse all the things I'd told myself were various chronic failures in my life. 

    It might be worth asking your manager to ask your HR department about a gradual return to work. I did it when I'd been off once for about 3 months and later, as a manager, arranged it for one or two of my staff. It was working part time, gradually increasing my hours over a period of weeks to try to ease myself back into work. It's so much easier than the abrupt shock of returning full time when you've been off for a long period. You can read about it in the ACAS guidance. ACAS is a government body offering advice to employers and employees about work issues.