Hi all,
44, male, and over the past three or four months have been diagnosed with AuDHD. Level 1 autism and inattentive ADHD. Possibly more on the autistic side, definiate strong traits on both sides.
It's kind of funny calling people to introduce themselves when they're just finding out they didn't know themself, or at least as well as we do now as we try to adjust and find new normals.
As with 99% of the other posts in this section the writing has always been on the wall but no one glanced up at the right time. My mum said I was a bright, cheerful baby/toddler who interacted with anyone who would give me attention. It's easy to get sad and dream how things could have been different if I'd maintained the outgoing assertive character, but a know significant changes to my past would mean I wouldn't have ended up where I am with my loved wife & kids and a roof over my head. Pretty much as soon as I entered nursery I swung to mostly playing by myself. Primary school and about 2/3rds of secondary school really sucked. The usual dose of bullying for any kid showing differences and a school system that only really recognised and supported those with the most outwardly typical signs of autism and adhd. I was fortunate with an after school tutor who was able to explain things for me a way that clicked.
I've always been on the engineering side of things with a measure of computer programming, although the latter has taken a bashing with the recent rise of large language models. Personally I've always known I'm not typical. Always wanted to be better at social, but unless with my clan I've never been a social leader, and it can be really uncomfortable. I've been a more in the shadows character who slides off after a while.
Interests; always liked cars, planes, etc. I'm not one for becoming fixated on a particualar mark or model, more a fasination in the engineering thats gone into them.
I'm perpetually learning to play bass and love my music, but struggle to learn new songs, perferring to fully tab out while songs and keeping that close far longer than others. In an odd contrast to my lack of social skills I am comfortable playing on stage, and try to sing the odd song or too in rehearsals. It's odd because I'm enjoying playing a charater, but at the same time masking in my day to day life appears to have caused me too much stress!
Work has always been a mix. In my zone with like minded folk - who I now recognise as likely ND, or live with ND people - I was happy and able to work to high level, getting my PhD sometime in 2010. But there are so many other character types in businesses that I was never able to get to the level I thought I should be. Was made redundant in 2018 and set up to work for my own company. It's still just me, and growth is slow because I am seriously bad at business networking. I often get to point in the events where I have to up and leave.
Other than that I enjoy cycling and tinkering with my bike. I built up a commuter this year which I'm very happy with. alfine 11sp hub, gates belt, and 700c wheels. So much has changed since my last in depth involvement with bikes back around 2010-14ish when I rode the John O'Groats to lands end. Join my sons occasionally on the BMX track, but not competative.
Happy to see this forum active, I miss the hayday of internet forums and loath social media and have dropped off most platforms. Refuse to use meta and twitter products any more than checking every six months or so if folk have messaged my old facebook account. but even so do have a habbit of winding folk up the wrong way when they miss interpret my messages.
So what now? It's clear now that primary sucked so much and that I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 21 because I was busy building up my coping strategies. Those have however left me with excess stress compared to Joe Bloggs in a similar life. That stress is causing me very real medical issues and I feel that this is last chance salloon to get myself reset and back on track before it cripples me.
Cheers all!
