Struggling

Hi maxlinger60, thank you for writing and your understanding and thoughtful reply.   I do like the idea of being more direct, though i was today about something and felt it bothered the person i was talking to.   I still find it difficult to be specific about my needs to people im with.   Thanks for your suggestion to join an activity.   I appreciate your kindness.

Hi Oscar, thanks for replying to my post.   Ive learned to chit chat sometimes, but find it difficult if it turns too negative.    I agree that written messages are really helpful.   I find your reply encouraging because ive been feeling quite isolated too.        

Folks here are great. I don't think I've encountered a genuinely malicious person here, and if I did, they were swiftly dealt with. It's a good place to talk about just about anything.

Hello Purple and welcome, 

I am late diagnosed, just this year. I have always had problems, not so much talking, but actually communicating with neurotypical people.  I do not do chit-chat or gossip although I know, but do not understand, that it the glue that binds NTs and creates the wider society. 

This is the only online community I have ever joined and find it a lot easier to communicate here than anytime in the real world. I like the written messages. They give me time to think about what comments to make, if any.  It has helped reduce my isolation which I quite like. However, the major benefit is having a place to learn about real autisic people and therefore about my own autism. 

I hope you find benefits too. 

Hi friend!

Sorry you're having a tough time. sometimes it is hard to say, but I usually try to explain to people around me that I rely on for support, be it a boss, a coworker, a family member, a professor, that I am autistic, and this means that x, y, and z are hard for me. It's a bit up front for many, but sometimes the only way to get them to tell you what they think is going on is by straight up asking them.

If you're in a place that hosts events, try going to activities and existing in the same space as people. I've found neurotypicals often think of that as bonding, even if you're just sitting there beside them. Try finding people you can talk to while you do an activity—i've also found bonding over doing things easier than just sitting at tables looking at each other.

Not sure if this helped, but we're here for you no matter what.

Thanks so much Alexa, your reply helps a lot, especially in clarifying what "mental health stuff" seems to be about.   

Thank you for understanding why im frustrated.

Hi and welcome. I think most of us find making good friends very difficult, so you're not alone in this. Autism always seems to fall between everything, as we're not mentally ill but neither are we able to cope well in a world not designed for us. 'Mental health' stuff seems to be focussed on either learning difficulties or stuff that can be controlled with pills or short-term therapy.

I hope you find you feel at home here.