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New Here and Don't have an official diagnosis

DafyddKear

Hey everyone, I'm new to this website/forum and just want to introduce myself. I don't have an official autism diagnosis, more depression and crippling social anxiety, but I seem to fit many of the criteria for autism and my younger brother and father are both autistic so I likely am as well.

I am a 27 year old man with no friends, no social life and no job and I still live with my parents, so making friends is a bit difficult for me. I struggle with self confidence issues but would like to begin making friends, even if they are online for now.

My family are helpful and supportive, but I am a romantic at heart and would desperately like a girlfriend and wife, something my autism and self confidence issues don't help with. I am here to start socialising in a secure environment as a start on this road.

My interests would probably be considered stereotypical for autistic men, being video games, reading, trains (particularly steam), model railways and history.

Parents

  • Bora Da.

    Welcome.  It is a safe and interesting forum, for sure.

    Relationships?  All I can say, as a veteran of two marriages and one divorce, is that they are hard; even NT people will say that.  But be yourself and find a way to put yourself around where people are, and in time someone will come along.  Just don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't happen quickly; it often happens at the most unexpected moment.

    You may be an archetype with those interests, but I know several women who share those.  Sure, not as many as the men, but they are out there.  Life does seem to put things in our way so that we trip over opportunities from time to time.  The trick is recognising them and letting it happen.  Good luck, and be kind to yourself.

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  • Bora Da.

    Welcome.  It is a safe and interesting forum, for sure.

    Relationships?  All I can say, as a veteran of two marriages and one divorce, is that they are hard; even NT people will say that.  But be yourself and find a way to put yourself around where people are, and in time someone will come along.  Just don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't happen quickly; it often happens at the most unexpected moment.

    You may be an archetype with those interests, but I know several women who share those.  Sure, not as many as the men, but they are out there.  Life does seem to put things in our way so that we trip over opportunities from time to time.  The trick is recognising them and letting it happen.  Good luck, and be kind to yourself.

Children
  • in reply to Iago

    Thank you for the kind words and suggestions. It's the being too hard on myself that's my main issue at the moment, alongside the putting myself around people. But I am planning to start getting out a bit more. I hope to learn to recognise those opportunities when I can.

    Without going too deep into it, it is very much the 'not happening quickly' that I have problems with, and it's why I given up on so many things during my life. I struggle to maintain motivation if I don't see results quickly enough, but that is something I am hoping to get over, and I have taken steps towards doing so.