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Hi all

cherrybakewell26

So im the father of 2 young lads in their early 20's who have both been recently diagnosed. I have 4 kids but only 2 tested. I find their diagnoses fascinating and it explains a lot about their current behaviour, and past behaviours as children.

I have been told by a few people that I too am autistic and I wanted to talk about my own behaviours and get a general feel as to whether a test may be beneficial to me.

I am In my 40's and have held the same job for over a decade and are in a supervisory role. I struggle to tell people what to do and often stress about things going wrong. I enjoy my job, especially the organisation side, I like things to run smooth and feel overwhelmed when they dont. I get on well with most but those I dislike I will not talk to, religiously.

I know a lot of people yet prefer my own space and rarely do activities with friends, I keep friends distant and have never had friends around home. I have been single for many years as I found it easier but recently I have a girlfriend of over a year. We live together and that took a lot of getting used to but shes a very special lady and we just work very well together. She is the main reason why im here to be honest because I struggle at time to communicate how I feel. I would describe myself as a needy *** and my mood can change very quickly at the slightest slight to me. Often times I get overwhelmed and emotional and sometimes I dont even know why. For the best part we are fine but its sometimes like I say. I have told her at times that I dont know why I feel like this and have told her the best thing to do is leave me alone until I come around on my own. Im not violent, I just need to be alone for a while.

I'll write more soon

  • in reply to Fibonacci Squid

    Thank you for your response.

    Those are very thought provoking questions. A positive test would give me a better understanding of myself as I would more likely than not become obsessed with finding out everything there is to know about autism.

    I think it would help me to understand why at times I struggle interacting with others, and help my relationship in terms of my girlfriend and me understanding why I do what I do, and to research ways in which I could alleviate these symptoms and thus help us deal with it better.

    I think that if I am autistic I would not need additional support as I function as most people would in terms of paying bills, working etc. Its more in terms of learning more about myself and understanding myself more in an effort to modify my behaviour, thus leading a more fulfilling life.

  • We can't advise whether or not to get tested, The main question is, what would you get out of a test? 

    For me, I needed additional support at uni and later in the workplace and I felt it would be a lot easier to say 'I have autism' rather than 'I have a number of sensory and social needs that affect me in x, y, z, kind of ways'. The latter is still sometimes needed, but the label is useful as a concise way of conveying need or difference. People sometimes interpret me in ways I don't intend, and it can be quite easy to say 'I don't hate you, I'm just autistic'.  

    For others on this site, it was very important to them in terms of their understanding of themselves.  They feel that it helps them understand something about themselves they haven't previously, and /or help them explain things to others. 

    I think it would be good for you to think about what a positive (or negative) test would give you? Partly because if you do decide to get tested, it is likely to be one of the questions you are asked.

  • I can be very matter of fact when speaking and very much prefer to be told how it is rather than be sugar coated or lied to. I tend to waffle on quite a lot and very much go around the houses after being asked a very simple straightforward question, the need to over explain myself in great detail is very annoying. But this is only with people I am comfortable around. If you had never met me you may think I was ignorant or rude as I dont tend to do well in social circles. I pretty much dislike people and the mundane types of conversations most people have, I was attracted to my girlfriend initially through her ability to hold a very intelligent conversation. I like to talk about the bigger picture, the reason for everything and really struggle in conversations that are surface level.

    I have OCD and very much like everything in its place, I get annoyed if tea towels are not folded correctly and its a bizarre thing to say really. I find myself very weird and have always thought so. I have more classic symptoms such as disliking bright lights and loud noises.

    I could go on forever but feel free to ask any questions and whether or not you feel a test may be of benefit to me.

    Thanks.