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Constantly crying

chaz693

Hi, my son is 7 diagnosed autistic, and developmentally delayed. He is non-verbal. He’s always been such a happy child and very rarely got sad or cried. However in the last month if we’re home he’s started randomly scream crying and I can’t figure out what it is that’s wrong. There’s no pattern to it and nothing I can tell is causing it. The only thing I can tell any time it happens is that he’s watching a certain clip and then just starts screaming at it. I’ve removed the option of him watching it but he just starts screaming and hitting me and himself till he has it back. I know that sometimes autistic kid use something to watch to make them cry as they like the sensation. But sometimes he watch’s the clip and he’s absolutely fine. It’s becoming a more frequent thing and I’m getting concerned that nothing I do seems to help him. I’m a little lost on what to do to help him. As school have also said he’s been upset there too but he doesn’t have the tablet at school. He has no way of telling me what is wrong. I’ve tried asking him if he’s hurt or in pain but obviously he doesn’t understand. I’m at a loss of what to do. 

  • in reply to Nicola Mod

    Thank you for your reply. It has been a lot recently. He goes to an sld school so has a lot of support there. Because this is such a new behaviour for him the school put it down to him feeling unwell and being unable to express that. But when he comes home he is fine and appears to be himself. So I don’t believe it’s that. They are working to try and figure out what it is. He has started in a new class with new children and new teachers so that could be causing the distress at school. But at home there hasn’t been any changes other than his sister now being on the move but it happens even when she’s not around. School are working with him on being able to communicate his feelings more but obviously it’s a very slow process. When upset he has always directed his behaviour towards himself by biting his hands but now we are lashing out directly at me. He’s not lashing out at school or at anyone else. Which I understand that he feels safe to do it with me. I will have a look at the links you’ve provided and see if anything helps. He’s always been hard to comfort when upset as he doesn’t like being comforted when upset and I have always waited for him to come to me when he’s ready. But these behaviours have meant I can’t do that which I’m not sure is helping because he doesn’t like to be touched when in that mental space but I have to to keep him safe. 

  • Hi chaz, and welcome to the online community.

    I'm so sorry to hear of the difficulties you and your son are facing at the moment, but it's great that he has a wonderful parent like you trying their best to support him.  Please know that you aren't alone in going through something like this, and I'm sure other parents of autistic children here on the community will have some great advice to share.

    I would also like to direct you to some of the NAS guidance pages that you may find helpful:

    Distressed behaviour - this page includes some strategies you could try to redirect or lessen your son's distress.  Since you mentioned that if you remove his tablet, he sometimes starts hitting himself, it may also be helpful to have a look at our page on self-injurious behaviour.

    You said that he also gets upset at school sometimes, so I'd like to direct you to our getting help at school page.  You didn't mention what support is already in place for him at school, but this page contains an overview of different types of support that are available, in case there is something you find helpful to think about or look into there.

    Thank you for reaching out to us, especially since you must already be feeling quite overwhelmed with trying to be there for your son.  I am wishing you both all the best, and please remember that the online community is always here for you.  Remember to take care of yourself as well.  The Parent to Parent Emotional Support Service provides emotional support to parents and carers regarding their autistic children. The service is provided by trained volunteers with personal experience as the parent of an autistic child or adult. Our focus is on emotional support and understanding what it is like for you as a parent. We offer empathy, understanding, and a safe space to talk through your feelings and experiences. To request a call, complete a web enquiry form here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/help-and-support/parent-to-parent-helpline.

    - Nicola Mod