Hello folks.
53M, always had what i believed to be poor mental health, but after throwing my partner of 25+ years and 4 kids "off the bus" 3 years ago (not seen or spoken since) followed shortly after by ALL my friends and family, the last few years have been a challenge to say the least.
Throw into the mix that i was living in my camper van, and losing the ability to drive and a series of very serious injuries and near misses.
Somehow in all this, i managed to keep my shizz together to work a 3 month contract, save almost all my wages, and purchase a very small canal boat.
Shortly after, my neck decided it wasn't playing ball anymore, and some discs collapsed leaving me miles from anywhere, effectively paralysed and running out of food and water.
After my first ever call to mental health services, they sent a taxi to collect me!
Anyhows, fast forward 12 months of living hell, to the second intervention from MHS resulted in a psychiatrist giving an informal diagnosis of ASD, which was a surprise at the time.
That was Dec 2025.
I've used the time since to process, educate and find answers.
It's explained everything. I don't need a diagnosis, i need help. But, I have just filled out forms anyway, and see what happens.
I've not sent a text or made a call to anyone i know in 18 months, and swerved humanity wherever possible, I've gone weeks without using my mouth, but don't feel lonely.
Everything points to a very much ongoing major burnout in November 2023, and I've identified issues in 2019 also.
I've tried changing all aspects of my life, I've emptied my bucket list and removed any future expectations.
But the burnout remains......
Some positives in all this though.
I am very proud of me for showing immense resolve, courage and have shocked myself as the level of resilience i have.
Christmas and birthdays are much cheaper nowadays!
Bless x
