Hello everyone Alison here, new on this platform and not great at navigating these things, am 58 and pretty useless at computer-ing! At school we still had typewriters ha ha, actually have to pinch myself that am approaching antiquity status myself, shocking thought.
Anyway have come here for enlightenment and hope, last few years been extremely challenging mentally and physically, still awaiting official diagnosis, actually having an assessment next Thursday which am now quaking in my boots about because I think what am I doing?! How can I be ASD when I’ve got to 58, granted it’s been a real struggle those 58 years but doubting myself terribly now assessment is looming.
Think if am not ASD then what is wrong with me? Blimey got to be something going on, life has been a car crash generally, lots of bad mental health and physical health problems, disastrous personal life, working life, childhood, education I mean on and on I could go but I’d be here all night!
Got a shocker of a week coming up next week, uncles funeral Wednesday, assessment Thursday and then Doctors on Friday for blood tests and they can never find my veins which am sure are there somewhere otherwise I wouldn’t be here walking around!
My stress head is already stressing the daylights out of me and there’s a whole week to stress more, you’d never think it to look at me, am definitely swan on surface furiously paddling to stay afloat underneath. Years of practice make one an expert at appearing calm whilst mount Vesuvius is erupting inside, no wonder am exhausted all the time, do a pretty good impression of a dying swan when am alone in my bedroom I can tell you.
Its cross fingers and toes time, adult like your life depends on it and collapse in a dishevelled heap at home time next week, actually most weeks are like that ha ha eeee maybe just maybe am about to get some long overdue answers to my lifetime of adulting failures…here’s hoping folks, it’s buckle up time!
