Struggling with parenthood/motherhood

Hello, 

I'm undiagnosed but on the way to awaiting assessment (when I get round to filling in the forms) and would identify as self-diagnosed at present. I'm pursuing diagnosis because I think this would give me better protection in the workplace and some validation personally.

I have two small children aged under 5 and I find parenthood really overwhelming. The children are loud and demanding and they require a lot of care, input and intensive interaction because they are young.

I work part time in a person-facing job which I enjoy, but people are tiring. But obviously my children require a lot of energy from me and I don't always have it in me to give it to them. 

We are a nuclear family and their father is excellent, really engaged, proactive and helpful. He also struggles with overwhelm a bit but not as much as I do. I think he's better able to function with working and parenting, whereas I sometimes just cannot do it and NEED to lie down on my own. 

it seems I'm always just told "these early years of parenthood ARE hard" but I don't feel like this understands some of the barriers I face sometimes. 

I do, unfortunately, feel overwhelmingly negative about parenthood, because it takes more than i can give, which I would prefer not to feel! That said, my children are by far the best things in my life; their existence is infinitely rewarding to me. I just need small doses of them to enjoy them. Full days with the family, holidays, weekends are very challenging for me. 

Any advice about how to survive parenthood, when there's no choice but to do so much interaction?

Practical strategies, tips, wisdom, etc very much appreciated. Thanks in advance 

Parents
  • Hi   I'm in a similar situation. I'm awaiting my assessment,  it's gonna start in the end of next month. Opposite to many here, as I read the posts, I'm not really nervous and I find it hard to believe,  that it gonna happen. Parenting is overwhelming,  first year after giving birth I felt like I was in a wrong body. It took me much longer to come to myself than other women. Currently it's my husband who takes most of the daily chaos related to interaction with the child. I can onteract only with one person at a time, so it means I can't really spend time with both - my husband and daughter. We have only one and I'm happy there are no more children. I think I wouldn't be able to manage it. I need a solitude everyday. It's my husband,  who noticed my mask falling off and problems that occur and he is going to support me through assessment and also be my informant. It's also him, who speaks to other people, like landlord.  Because as he said himself, I can't do it. 

    Sorry if it's not helpful,  just sharing my experience but I think the response from Rishma Mod is more helpful.

Reply
  • Hi   I'm in a similar situation. I'm awaiting my assessment,  it's gonna start in the end of next month. Opposite to many here, as I read the posts, I'm not really nervous and I find it hard to believe,  that it gonna happen. Parenting is overwhelming,  first year after giving birth I felt like I was in a wrong body. It took me much longer to come to myself than other women. Currently it's my husband who takes most of the daily chaos related to interaction with the child. I can onteract only with one person at a time, so it means I can't really spend time with both - my husband and daughter. We have only one and I'm happy there are no more children. I think I wouldn't be able to manage it. I need a solitude everyday. It's my husband,  who noticed my mask falling off and problems that occur and he is going to support me through assessment and also be my informant. It's also him, who speaks to other people, like landlord.  Because as he said himself, I can't do it. 

    Sorry if it's not helpful,  just sharing my experience but I think the response from Rishma Mod is more helpful.

Children
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