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Introduction

Simon79

Hi, I'm Simon and two weeks ago I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 47. I'm still processing it and trying to figure out how to tell friends, family, work colleagues etc. However I have found the diagnosis helpful to understand why I've never felt like I fit in, why I struggle with certain things and it not just being a case of 'trying harder'.

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    Definitely! I've had a look at a few different things on here already. It's good to get advice from other likeminded people. 

  • Hi and welcome.Hugging

    You might find some threads on here that are helpful when it comes to telling family and friends. Hope you stick around and enjoy chatting with us.

  • in reply to lostmyway

    Yeah, I did CBT, and it felt forced towards the end like they were trying to convince me to admit everything was fixed, as if they were getting annoyed I was still there. 

  • Welcome :) My diagnosis is fairly recent. I’m 32, and I bet you felt like a great weight was lifted. I had a very problematic childhood and was treated as if I was just difficult, and my diagnosis made me feel like a great weight was lifted off me. I felt like I could give myself a break and stop being so hard on myself. 

  • Thank you everyone for the kind words and warm welcome! I definitely feel like I can be 'myself' a bit more and there is less pressure to fit in. As I said I'm still processing it and going over past events, conversations etc and reframing them as 'I said or did that because of the autism' if that makes sense! It's interesting to read other people's experiences. I'm lucky to have a job that suits me really well so I don't have too many challenges at work. I recently told my manager about the diagnosis and she was very supportive (we have a good relationship anyway) I'm debating whether/how to tell work colleagues.

  • I think it’s valuable to know you’re autistic because, for many people in the past, they never really understood why they struggled with certain things and may have tried the wrong approaches to help themselves. For example, years ago I had problems at work adapting to a new and challenging environment and just couldn’t cope with it. The company eventually sent me to see a couple of so‑called psychiatrists or psychologists, but autism wasn’t even considered. I also attended NHS therapy and was given CBT, which is inappropriate for autistic issues. I ended up trying to follow something that was never going to work, which made me feel like a failure. It felt like they were implying I should just pull myself together, which of course is impossible since it’s a neurological issue, not an attitude problem.

  • Hi Simon79
     
    Welcome to the community.
    I'm glad you've found diagnosis helpful for understanding yourself.
    It's great to have you with us. I hope you enjoy being here.
    Best wishes.
    Christine Mod

  • It's such a relief to realise you're just wired differently and it's a case of doing things the way you're wired, rather than trying to do things the way someone else is wired. 

    Many of us are recently diagnosed and struggling with the 'how do I do this?" bit about telling other people. You're in teh right place to explore that.

  • Hi Simon and welcome, 

    Congratulations upon your diagnosis. It sounds like it is paying dividends already. I am several months into my diagnosis and find it an important  confirmation of who I have always been.  I do get your point about "trying harder". 

    This is a very friendly and safe place and I hope you enjoy your stay.